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Reflections

Another year has gone past. One third of my life is already over; and i must say i have lived it happily.

Now at this moment when i sit back and think about how i have lived, i have lived without the need to please anyone. I have made my own mistakes and corrected many of them. Some mistakes are left to be mistakes; there is hardly anything that you can do about.

I have made my folks proud, at the same time i have let them down too. I have hardly been the elder brother my sibling may have wanted, but i am trying. I have had my ups and down, i have had my fights and i have truly lived.

While i was busy alienating people for most of my life so far, surprising when i look back, i have also made a few friends for the life time. My social skills are always on the lower side, i suck at interactions, but i am glad i have made a few friends, a few like family in this short while...

One third of my life is over. Do i have regrets? Yes. Will i be able to forgive me when i die? Obviously. Would something be different if i had a change, not many, not much.

There is something i take pride in being me and that is letting know people that they matter. I can be really cold and shrug you out of my life if you don’t matter to me. But if at all i see anyone as a part of my life, my world, i have let them know it, and they know it.

It has always been hard for me to keep up with all the people i know, especially when there exist a lot of people who have found time to be judgmental on my sins, rather faults, or short comings, i have nothing to tell them, but for the ones who stood by, thank you. You mean the world to me.

I have let people down, i have hurt people, i have picked fights and i have walked out of many. I have broken hearts, broken hopes and gifted tears to many, but i believe that i am making up to it now.

I have only lived one third of my life, i still have the two third remain for the wrongs to be made rights, and for peace to be found.

I am glad to have learned all the lessons in life so far, and looking forward to learn more, I’d however say,Learning not to be emotional while making decisions, and learning how not to be dependent on anyone for my emotional stability are the best learning i have had so far.


To the ones who had to lie and betray, and pretend, i have nothing against you, and i may not forgive what you did to me. but i will conveniently forget your existence, that you live on the same earth i do, and i hope, i hope we may never cross paths, for it would be difficult for you to stand my sight.

To the ones who left me, thank you for the memories, those are worth holding on to. tomorrow when i have answer, if some one asks, what were the best days of my life, i might even mention you for the memories are sweeter

To the ones who stayed through the ups and downs, thank you.  You always found time to pick my calls, listen to me crib, complain, worry and even cry, i do not know what would i do without you. i do not know how my life would have turned around without you providing that shoulder of comfort. Trust me, there were days when i had lost the need to live, when i questioned my own existence even. Thank you for not being let down by me. Thank you for being there when i was down, low and out. Thank you for installing in me the desire to live and the faith to dream. 



To all the awesome people in my life, to the ones who make wish to wake up everyday and time to catch up, to have all the fun, Cheers. I hope i will be able to return all the love and affection and care you people shower up on me, i hope i will be able to be there when you need me. 

Thank you.

Today, i am 25 Years Young !

2 Shared Thoughts:

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

Belated Birthday greetings, buddy! Here's wishing you a happier YOU throughout the year ahead.

Quite an intense, emotional post here. What is important is you make peace within and with the choices you have embraced. How others see you is secondary to how you feel about yourself. No gyaan, ok? Just something that I have been wading through and I am at least eleven years older than you, so you gotta trust me on my words.

Unlike you, I have done nothing to make anyone proud and mostly let my folks down on the really important stuff. I have definitely been a very bad 'elder sibling' model for my younger sister. I have had more downs than ups.
During downtime, people I knew were very creative in alienating me and when the uptime came, I began surprising people by alienating myself from them. When i look back, there are less than ten real friends I have in my life. But I love the fact that I chose to live my life without social pretensions and I chucked away all social pressures. It takes LOT of courage to be yourself. Shravan, that you are able to do this at a young age, makes me feel proud to be your friend. Way to go, buddy and no matter what, don't lose heart! Just trust your gut feel, listen to what your hearts says and DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT, not what any one else asks of you.

Last but not the least, thank you for visiting my blog and sharing your experience there. I truly value it.

S.A.L. said...

One third? How are you so sure that you're gonna live till you're 75? ;)

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