I'm glad 2013 is almost over

Its that time of the year when many of us start to review the year that is going past. I am  glad, 2013 is almost over, and its the worst year i have ever lived so far. I'd want a miracle to happen for me to remember this year anytime again in my life; and i am quite certain that the remaining 16 days of 2013 won't bring any miracles.

This is a year that made me realize how a handful of decision i made have gone wrong, totally wrong. what has happened is that this year has pushed me to a state of being low, in every possible ways. it has so far been, an year of bad health, personal lows, and unhappiness.

2013 has been a bad year, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.

i had given up making resolutions long back. i had a to do list for 2013 though, and nothing happened.

1. Travel to new places, visit Mumbai, Kolkata - i traveled to the Emirates  for some days, not quite the vacation sort.
2. Buy a new phone - doesn't seem a possibility in the near future.
3. Buy a RE Bullet - booked and then cancelled, i was broke.
4. Save Money -  a good joke.
5. Read, read and read. - all i managed to read was 5 books. just 5 books.
6. Find Happiness. - the pursuit of happiness, rather solace has led me to do things this year, not the happy sort of things though.
7. Take a vacation from work. -  ended up facing a medical situation, followed by long absence from work and still taking the medicines, recovering slowly.
8. Start paying back the loan. - one of the major worries i discuss in my head every night these days.
9. Blog, at least write more often. - doesn't seem to have got that passion back. i have lost what so ever little ability i had to imagine, and to write.
10.Socialize. - i seem to have withdrawn to myself and have alienated many people this year
11. Rectify the character flaws. yes. i am quite aware that there are a lot of shortcomings in me, not that anyone else doesn't have. there are things i need to rectify to be acceptable. not that i am  a people person and people pleaser. i would never want to be one. the problem is when you misjudged for things your did not do, and accused of things you never know about.
12. Learn to be more tolerant and forgiving. - i have developed the habit of finding fault in myself for every decision that went wrong. i have not be tolerant and forgiving on myself. I have embraced negativity to a point that any hope seems to be beyond the horizon.

As the year is nearing its end, i still have a couple of decisions to make, and i have never been this confused, directionless, and less focused. Adieu 2013.

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