നഗരം

ആ നഗരത്തിനു വല്ലാത്ത ഒരു  വേഗമുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. ഇന്നു കാണുന്നതൊന്നും പിന്നീട് ഒരിക്കലും  കണ്ടില്ലെന്നു വരുന്ന അത്രയും വേഗം. അവളുടെ നഗ്ന ശരീരത്തില്‍ വിരലുകള്‍ ഓടിക്കുകയായിരുന്നു അവന്‍. അവള്‍ പാതി മയക്കത്തിലും, ഇന്നലെകളുടെ പേടിപ്പെടുത്തുന്ന ഓര്‍മകളില്ലാത്ത, നാളേയുടെ ആവലതികളില്ലാത്ത, ഇന്നിന്റെ സ്വപ്നകള്‍ കണ്ടുള്ള മയക്കം. നേരം പുലരും മുന്നേ, ഇരുട്ടിന്റെ ആഴങ്ങളിലേക്ക് അവന്‍ നടന്നകന്നു.. കിടക്കയില്‍‍ വീണുകിടന്ന ചുളിഞ്ഞു-മുഷിഞ്ഞ്‌ അഴുക്ക് പുരണ്ട്‌  നോട്ടുകള്‍ പെറുക്കിയെടുത്ത്‌ അവളും ആ നഗരത്തിന്റെ വേഗതയിലലിഞ്ഞു.

College, Placements, and Life After.

No. the college did NOT place me.

Alright. I passed out in July, joined for work in November. I waited for 3 months; I actually spend that 3 months home, eating, and sleeping and of course getting some medical attention which was long due, nothing serious though.

Okay, so, I was called to attend an interview in October, which I indeed did, and oh, and before that, I attended yet another funny interview, where the people wanted me to write a blog about their firm to be considered for further discussion. I judged. How on earth do you expect me to say yes to that? My blog being a personal entity and as an individual I would highly disregard such a move from any firm and rate them as pathetic and below.

So I attend this interview and then go back home and get my DOJ a month later, I happily pack my luggage and come back to Bangalore, and join for work, and then the usual thing happened. Company accommodation for 2 weeks, I failed to find an appropriate place for me, for a month, put up with a friend all that while, and then moved to a place which I found for myself.

Ah, I was supposed to justify what I started with I guess, no, the college, did not place me. We had this college placement cell and all drama happening, no intentions to ditch them and curse them, they do their job. They had taken our well copied from each other resumes, made a data sheet and constantly send out emails about offers and call center, read along type, jobs and stuffs. 

Soon after a month passed and I was done with my trainings and getting aligned to my work and all as how it happens for any fresher- straight out of college student, I get an update from a friend that my 4^th semester mark list have come in the college and I need to go collect it. And yes, at the same time did I get mail from the HR wing of the office asking me to submit copies of end sem mark list or provisional degree certificate or any other proof of my MBA degree.

So one fine morning I decided to ping my RM and say, sir, I will be a couple of hours  late to office tomorrow, I need to go to college and collect my end sem mark lists and then submit to the HR dept. here and he agrees. And wait, before that, I got yet another update from another classmate of mine saying that I, as in, we, the entire batch need to submit a copy of our offer letter to the MBA dept. of my college to get the permission letter to collect my mark list. My very funny friend, even asked me a question, bro what to do if we are not placed yet or are getting married in some time and don’t have any offer letter in hand? I said, well, dude, I don’t know. Let’s see.

The next morning, I wake up and take a shower and get ready and put on a decent cloth, a smile, which I normally don’t wear, and step out of the home to go to college. Oh, I have taken a copy of my offer letter in my hand, just for the need and surety.  So I straight away walk to the admin office and ask, the lady, let’s say ma’am, as we are supposed to call to get our work done, can I get my end semester mark list please and hand over my college id to her and then she asks, where is the permission letter from Director? I had expected this to happen and I lied, what letter ma’am? I don’t have any letter; I have passed out in July. She calmly explained to me that I need to meet the Director of my dept. and get his approval letter.

So I went up to him and he wanted a copy of the offer letter to sign my letter, which I didn’t have, and then I took up a paper from the printer kept at his desk wrote a letter and handed over him to sign and he wanted color copies, and I, I for once felt like saying the sacred two letter word, but my experience had taught me to stay silent and calm. 

I finished my formalities and collected my mark list and submitted to the office where I work, a copy of it and kept the original safe. Oh, I still need to justify my opening statement. Yes, the college did not place me. I was not in the list of students who was enrolled to the placement division. In fact, I was, but the history between me and the director who was all nice and sweet to me just before, wasn’t as sweet as that, and I had opted out of placements and thrown up my letter on his face right when the placement activities were being started.

No, the college did not place me, and I do not know why would any college or department ask for a student’s / ex-student’s offer letter, which is supposed to be kept confidential, when they haven’t done a thing to get him placed? 

I studied there? Spare me the excuse, I paid lakhs to study there, and it was my choice, they didn’t do a fig. 

I am forced to reach only a conclusion, even though, later, one of my friend was given an explanation by the same old director that they are rebuilding the alumni association for the dept. and that accounts why the offer letters are being collected, but I am a member of a couple of alumni associations, and all they collected was my name, permanent address and phone numbers, now that I am employed, I can understand if details about my organization and position are asked, but not the offer letter. So, 

I am forced to conclude this way, that if the department, the personnel, specifically, want to boast of students being placed all around, and all good profile jobs, and take credit of all those, well, the college did NOT place me. He did not place me.  I had thrown my letter of not wanting to be considered for placements right on his face and I hope, he still has it in his files, so that he could refer and spare me when he talks of the placements he has done for my batch.

No personal disrespect intended. If you find hatred for individuals being portrayed, consider themselves deserving.

His Dreams

He weaved a world of vibrancy and ecstasy in her imagination, fascinated her heart by telling about his dreams, of his passions, a life filled with colors, lights and happiness. She couldn’t hesitate to push him off the edge into the darkest depths of pain, hurt and hatred. She lived his dream all by herself.

Making Peace With The Past

its been days, months, an year almost
since we parted our ways
my words have lost the voice
to reach your ears and ring
your eyes have lost the sight
to see me struggle alone

and today, today i could smile
for i made peace, with my past
not to try and stretch my pain
in vain, to get over you, your thoughts
but to accept that its over and
to cherish the memories for longer.