10

The Things That I Would Miss

I had earlier written about how glad I am that college is getting over and I no more have to put up with things which I don't like, which I couldn't accept or digest and with people who proved spineless and gay and biased to me.

Having said that, the last day in college, precisely the last day of exam, it changed things for me, a new insight. I watched people waving hands and walking away, alone, in couplets, in a groups, some standing side by the lane and talking and there was me, walking down the usual path, leaving some friends to talk three steps in advance.

Reaching back to my room, 506, I started to feel alone, the floor has become almost emptied, the guy 2 doors next, my batch mate wouldn't even know that I stay here just because my roommate left and he no more needs drinking water. I cannot complain, it's a mutual thing. I also don't acknowledge his presence there. after all I have learned to appreciate what I get and return exactly the same amount of what I get.

Honestly, when I step out of this place, unlike what I mentioned in the previous update, I am going to miss a certain of lot of things, some people, some moments, some places, some spaces and that would make quite a difference in my life. starting from my room, room no 506, and to the handful of trustworthy and caring friends I have made, and to the people who could never ever tolerate me, there is a lot to be missed.
room no 506, the bed, the table the cupboard, the regular walk to the mess, the faces that you greet and those that greats you, the daily schedule that I have got used to, quite a lot it is. apart from that, the walk from hostel to the class and the lazy walk back from the college, through the canteen, the parathawala to the room. the schedule of sleeping late, fighting with her on calls, gaming and movies, and all the passive smoking and walking up exactly an hour before class and running to class.

There are places and moments that I am going to miss too. I wouldn't miss much of the class room experience, it wasn't something enlightening always and worth remembering, but the stairways, the conversations in the pathway, and the canteen where quotes read maintain silence and do now while away your time here, and the parking lot there are people who have had more fun than me and more attachment to places than me, but these smaller places have been where I existed.

There are people too. I have been very careful not to be attached with anyone in particular and keep my relationships a closed affair most of the times, and this, when I step out all I have to remember are a maximum of twenty to thirty names as friends, and out of that too, I am not going to miss many. but there are indeed some who I would miss. I have found a sister, a daughter and a teacher for myself in here. I wouldn't miss the sister much, but the daughter and all her stupidities would be missed. and if I am not lying, and being true, I would miss the teacher most of all. it's only a little time that I have known the teacher and so much has already happened in so less time. know this teacher, you would be badly missed. the lessons you thought me are of much more worth than the entire degree I am about to get in some months time in my hand.. there has been hardly anyone who had understood almost everything about me in such less time too.

I have been weighing my options all these days after my exams and yet to reach a conclusion. I have on one side, a ego state which is not willing to compromise on anything and on another side the practical aspect of life and the choices this place could lead me to. the day I win over these clashes, I would make a decision that might probably decide the future course and direction of my life. but like I said once, in the fight between ego and emotions and practicalities, ego wins every time. it doesn't even give a chance to fight for anything else, and it's high time I start to mend my ego, precisely the child ego and learn to let go of such things and be practical.

What right now I am going through is what Shomoita would call the quarter life crisis, you are an adult and yet you enjoy the cartoon, you take your decisions and yet seek for back up, you are in need of money, you are shameful to ask at home, you need a job, and you don't have one. truly, life is worth living. there is miles to go and milestones to set.

10 Shared Thoughts:

Shomoita said...

Who's this Shomoita? Link her blog. :v

Loved the post, kiddo. Confessions of a soul in a transition state. It made me sad and I could relate. Because soon I'd be leaving a place that I've been attached to for the last 26 years.

Wish you all the best for your future. Love you. <3 :)

Nida Fatima said...

Loved it. :)

Ramya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ramya said...

:tup heyyyyyyy come on, you have just done with college. you have a beautiful life waiting tons of people to meet, loads of memories to make.

Smile and cheer up. see simple thing carry all that you want leave the rest!!! travel light hope you got it!

First visit here will follow you

Meoww said...

:tup
^ just had to try it out :)

Dont be shy to Preserve your uniqueness;
Just do your best. And be happy!

:kitten

Meoww said...

Sorry, just want to get it right!

tup from kitten

Shravan RN said...

@Shomoita
Shomoita is a genius. one love sick puppy :P
be glad you enlightened for this post :D

Shravan RN said...

@Nida
:) am glad you loved it :D

Shravan RN said...

@Ramya
thanks for passing by, reading, leaving a comment and for following.
and rightly said, lots of memories to make, and i am all happy and merry indeed :)

Shravan RN said...

@Meow
:D :tup haha i like the comment, but idk what to reply :D

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