Not Knowing What To Do

i almost never force things to happen. i just let things be. when it comes to blogging also, its pretty much the same. i mean i never come online open the blog and then update it for the sake of it. it just happens. whenever i am in a mood to take a break, scribble down something, i just do that. on top of that, i have never tried to improve up on anything. i have left things be as it so. probably the reason why my love of things said in simple terms is till alive. there are a handful and more of people who make you run for a dictionary when you read what they have written. i will never, in my life be opting and prefering such things. i love the beauty of simple sentences and the volume it could possibly carry.

there used to be days when i would instantly scribble on my classroom desk or notebook or whatever paper i have in my hand or in reach.. even on question papers in exam halls, i used to note down. oh yes, i always finish my exams way ahead of time. obviously i dont write every answers. these days i have been frustrated over a lot of issues. i have been getting angry more and more. its almost like i am falling prey to my anger and letting it take the destructive form. i have lost the ability to control my anger. i totally succumb to it and then it just comes, destroys and goes, i really dont know how do i get back to the normal mode, where i could think and act and control anger.

i have also reached back to the stage of letting go of people and be careless about it. its almost like i am realising how certain people treat me and what they expect from me, and i have become a totally different person, someone who i am not totally liking. i have pretty much become a follower of an eye for an eye these days. i just hurt people a lot, tell things on their face and then care a damn about it.

i am just not being able to help it, and i dont know what to do. probably i must take a break and wander around places. this coming weekend is something that i look forward to. i will be going back home for a week and the back to asylum.. i hope things become better when i am back !

1 Shared Thoughts:

Shomoita said...

i have pretty much become a follower of an eye for an eye these days. - I know what you mean. Same here. I tried to hide and cool myself, but it didn't work. I needed a change, may be a miracle. What I realized is if you try to fight such feelings, it grow stronger. So just let it be, it will go away when it's supposed to. You don't have to do anything, really! :)

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