Asking Questions To Self

Digital Social Hibernation. The way I found to heal myself and bring me back to life every time I face problems. It’s nothing great. It’s just withdrawing to my own shell and finding some time for myself, check the past happenings, rewinding them in slow motion and analyzing my actions, and things which I could have done better or avoided. It doesn’t make any changes in what has happened. But it definitely changes how things would happen the next time. 

Forget about that. I have been thinking about the reason why I hibernated from my blog. Why I put it into such a state of ignorance and pain. There were days when I used to write about anything and everything in here, truly making the name stand for it. The graveyard of my own thoughts. As time went on, I started asking questions to myself, I started arguing with myself. I wanted perfection, I wanted to improve, and for once, I thought, to improve is to withdraw from posting personal comments on blog, and that’s what I did. I stopped cribbing about my life. The daily happenings, and the best moments of my life. I just started to live the way many do... i almost gave up and forgot the sole purpose of this blog. But why? I wanted to write more. And what did I do? I gave up writing. I completely stopped it just because I did not want to make my blog sound personal any more. But then, did I succeed in what I wanted to do? Write? NO. I just lost it like never before. I totally blew it.

I have always believed and said that the only thing one can write, speak and make example is one’s own life. That is the only thing he can speak with authority, and what did I do? I totally ignored my life and went searching for some other answers. I wanted perfection, I wanted change, and I wanted growth. Growth as in, I wanted to write better… and I never got better. I have always wanted answers, knowing the answers were the first priority for me. It wasn’t the same a couple of years ago. I never bothered about anything. I had my life, its problems, and I was content enough. And now, it’s time I realize, it’s not about the answers, it’s about the questions, and the questions which I and you do not have answers. It’s not about perfection, it’s about the effort. It’s about the commitment you have with yourself.

I have been defending myself saying I am going through a block stage where I can’t think of writing anything. I can no longer do that. I never ran out of things to write, I just stopped doing it. I never had a block, I created a block. I never ran out of words, I just stopped using them. And right now, I do not know how do I get out this self-put restrictions and conditions. I have totally lost it all. I think it’s time I take a fresh start. Start all over. Re learn and Re do.

3 Shared Thoughts:

Chocolate Lover said...

:) You are really strong, Shravan. I tried doing that. But, I couldn't. May be because.. I really don't have a real social life.

And, about the blog.. I have stopped writing too but I don't know why. I never wanted to quit writing. I started writing what people wanted to read. I told my life, experience and everything through words.

I hope I get back on track again. =]

Shravan RN said...

@ Shriti
That. is where i would differ. i never wrote what people wanted to read. i lost it when i atleast tried to that. that, i think, isnt the way it is meant to be for me.

i, also, plan to get back on track. Once.

SindhuBhairavi said...

You can always go for a fresh start :) am sure you will do well!!:)

take care..

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