7

Meeting A Celebrity

Last week, I had come home. I had come for my holidays. In fact it’s the project period now, but anyways, I am almost done with it, and well I thought of taking a break. Like I mentioned in the previous post, I needed time to cool off and heal. I wanted to sleep over all the hurts and get back to my normal self. Meanwhile, my best friend who is at Bangalore mailed me her pics at the flower show. Yep, I missed it. The flower show that happened in Lalbagh gardens last week. And I have no clue if it’s still going on there.

Well, and good, last Friday, I went back to Bangalore again, with a possible lie at home. Actually, not just one lie, a couple of lies, and in fact, no lies, I adjusted a couple of things to go home and come back again. I could have stayed at Bangalore for one extended week and reached today morning, but I had other plans.

I missed the flower show, which my friend said was pretty good.  Talking of adjustments, there were 3 reasons why I had adjusted things at my end. 1. Meet my project guide, who I happens to called chechie, elder sister, and she looks up to me like more than a student or a brother, I with all my stupidities is one listener who she needs, and one who could tell her all the philosophies to make her  feel good. 2. I had to visit the office where I am doing my project which happens to be the place where the well-known poet, Leo – Vinay works.  Now these are the two reasons what I said home to go back to Bangalore in less than 5 days after reaching home. 

The third reason is exactly the only reason why I had to go back. I missed the flower show, but I Met THE PINK ORCHID -Kajal, the name with which i have known and loved her..  A couple of years  back, there was this novice kid, who is very new to the blogs world, and there was this celebrated blogger, one who writes amazing stuffs, The Pink Orchid. The day one he started reading her, he just became a fan. He hasn’t quite found someone who can use all the simple words in the world and in the language and make all emotions and feelings come to you. She was the only one who he found ‘writing her heart out’. It wasn’t like there weren’t any other bloggers; she was altogether in a different class. 

This kid started following her, and he was always reluctant to leave comments in any blog, but he would make sure that he leaves at least one work in her blog every time he reads it, and he used to wait eagerly for her to update her blog. It’s through her blog that he found many others also, including Anil Sawan and Leo. He even now doesn’t know how he reached ‘The Pink Orchids’ Blog.  And the time went on, and one fine day, there was a comment on the kids’ blog from her, and it was almost like ‘I wish I had a brother like you, or something like I can understand all what you write in your blog’ or of that sort... and there it started all. Chechie and Monu. 

It wasn’t the first time for me to meet people who I find online in real, it had happened quite a no. of times. And this time, day before yesterday, 29th Jan 2012, Sunday, I met the pink orchid, and it didn’t feel like I was meeting her for the first time. It was like she has been my chechie for a longer time. I happen to carry the affection and connection that I make in the virtual world to my real life as well. People say you can’t trust everyone who you find online, but from day one that I started using internet, the first thing I did was to trust the people I meet, it wasn’t blindly trusting, for I am reserved to a lot more extend. It would really take a lot of time for me to get along people. And with pink orchid, it was like the connection was very much extended to my real life, and no wonder why I didn’t think twice to irritate her, bug her, and demand all the attention I need and trust me, she made me feel so special, so childish. And I loved it. 

Met her over lunch with Anil and Vinay. If it was with anyone else, I would really ignore meeting people for lunch time. I am one of a kind who doesn’t eat much, but drink a lot of water, and many won’t understand if I say that I don’t eat, exactly the reason why I avoid meeting for lunch, and the same thing happened yesterday also, not that I didn’t have anything, but she was upset that I was eating less, and eating slow. Loved the way you showed your care chechie...

Bugging people, I was at my best on Sunday, and I can talk like blah blah blah forever and forever and make you feel more bugged and this lady listened to it call, without even asking me to stop for a second, and she smiles cute. That would be the best gift she can give to anyone I believe, a smile that wins anyone’s heart.

Phew... I am running out of words to write anymore. Let me just wind up, and cherish all the memories of the good times, I had on Sunday, and praying that it’s just a beginning. I would just take a second to say thanks for coming over to Bangalore and for making me feel so special *pain in the **** and giving all the time and attention.

I really don’t know what to write about Vinay, we both have been seeing and travelling together for the last one month, and meeting him for the first time was one experience, which I would make a post later some time. Trust me.

This post wouldn’t be complete if I don’t mention about Anil like how I commented on her blog, how much care and affection and concern he has for his best friend, and you both, be like this forever, blessed. 

3

Asking Questions To Self


Digital Social Hibernation. The way I found to heal myself and bring me back to life every time I face problems. It’s nothing great. It’s just withdrawing to my own shell and finding some time for myself, check the past happenings, rewinding them in slow motion and analyzing my actions, and things which I could have done better or avoided. It doesn’t make any changes in what has happened. But it definitely changes how things would happen the next time. 

Forget about that. I have been thinking about the reason why I hibernated from my blog. Why I put it into such a state of ignorance and pain. There were days when I used to write about anything and everything in here, truly making the name stand for it. The graveyard of my own thoughts. As time went on, I started asking questions to myself, I started arguing with myself. I wanted perfection, I wanted to improve, and for once, I thought, to improve is to withdraw from posting personal comments on blog, and that’s what I did. I stopped cribbing about my life. The daily happenings, and the best moments of my life. I just started to live the way many do... i almost gave up and forgot the sole purpose of this blog. But why? I wanted to write more. And what did I do? I gave up writing. I completely stopped it just because I did not want to make my blog sound personal any more. But then, did I succeed in what I wanted to do? Write? NO. I just lost it like never before. I totally blew it.

I have always believed and said that the only thing one can write, speak and make example is one’s own life. That is the only thing he can speak with authority, and what did I do? I totally ignored my life and went searching for some other answers. I wanted perfection, I wanted change, and I wanted growth. Growth as in, I wanted to write better… and I never got better. I have always wanted answers, knowing the answers were the first priority for me. It wasn’t the same a couple of years ago. I never bothered about anything. I had my life, its problems, and I was content enough. And now, it’s time I realize, it’s not about the answers, it’s about the questions, and the questions which I and you do not have answers. It’s not about perfection, it’s about the effort. It’s about the commitment you have with yourself.

I have been defending myself saying I am going through a block stage where I can’t think of writing anything. I can no longer do that. I never ran out of things to write, I just stopped doing it. I never had a block, I created a block. I never ran out of words, I just stopped using them. And right now, I do not know how do I get out this self-put restrictions and conditions. I have totally lost it all. I think it’s time I take a fresh start. Start all over. Re learn and Re do.
10

Hurt

As I walk out of your life
knowing that i can never own
and i will owe it all to you
for breaking your heart and
never, trying to mend it again.
For toying with your emotions
like a kid with his doll
For giving you time, hope, and
painting your dreams in rainbow shades
and then leaving you to be
on your own for ling

The hurt you would feel now,
is much lesser than the hurt,
I could give you later

Take my heart and walk
gift me that smile of yours
and i would cherish it forever
and forever is till i die
Penned to Life by Shravan. Powered by Blogger.
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