4

Let's Fly Up

life definitely is full on uncertainities, and life definitely is full of hopes, its just holding on to the hopes or finding the better side of every bitter moment that makes life perfect to live :-) every time i lose my hope, i search for it, deep in myself, around me, in people and in void..

upside down things may turn
and lets not quit,
who knows if a rainbow awaits
the next moment,
short enough to be seen,
but long enough for you to smile.

one hard learned fact in my life to face all problems with a smile, true smiling may not solve the problem, but it would definitely give some positive enery to face it.. finding the better side of all, does the right trick.. after all, who knows whats in the next moment ??
7

Facts From My Past

skip reading if you dont want to waste your precious time.. its just an outburst of thoughts :-)

my joining of Oracle's www.think.com now called thinkquest.org paved the way for the present life i live. its then i knew my love for the net and for the blogs ! its 10 page personal columns for school students(kendriya vidyalaya had registered with it, dunno about rest of the schools) made all the difference in my life.thats when i became known to people, thats how i met my bestie, and thats how i got connected to some best teachers in around india.. thats when i first realised that blogs could be my virtual home ! if ever i hadnt registered and spent time on it, i would now be studying in some engg college, having fun and wouldnt have had this pathetic college life ! but had i not been in, i wouldnt have become this person who i am, and i am proud to be the way i am ! life's little lesson, learned and shared.. after all, life is not just an engg degree ! had i never spent hours on the internet uploading and updating the 10 pages, i would have scored atleast a decent score in maths than to have merely passed.but then again, i would have met these inspiring people, and friends ! had mom n dad never got me the computer while i was in class 11, i wouldnt have made them cry, but then i wouldnt have realized the true color of life ! true i havent faced any real challenges in life, but still again, what i went through, i can never ever put them into words !

PS : well, am just sick and tired of listening to poeple saying "you should have opted for engg" come on people, engg is not the only thing in life, plus thats not the right path for me to move, plus i never made a candidate for that course !
11

Being Myself

Being myself.. yup, being my self.. satisfying my primary need of running this blog, a place for me to express and do all the talking, a place where i can shed in my thoughts and then share it, yeah, sharing is secondary, i do not write to please anyone, nor do i have the talent to do that. Its just me and my thoughts in here, but i am glad i have people around me who read, we respond and who encourage, and i am truly honoured and proud to have met you all, and even more proud to be in touch, and known you all, and i hope it goes on. In a couple of days, i am going to write one hell of an exam series that decides where i will stand in the future life.. but well before i get going, before i get busy, there is something that i need to dumb out of my thoughts, and then i just got to deliver my best in my exams..

The biggest plus and the biggest minus in my life is the freedom i enjoy, all the goods in me are from the freedom i enjoy and so comes the negatives in me. I am extremely glad and thankful to the god almighty, that i have the best parents in the world. Letting me to be who i am, that is what my parents did, and they are still doing that, true they had hopes on me, faith on me and i have let them down not just for once. But even now, home is the biggest comfort zone that i can be. True i have let all the dreams and hopes placed on me to rot, and die, i have caused nothing but tears for them, but now, its time, i make a move, i do something this last time to bring one smile on their face.

Every single step i took in my life, i took it at my will, yup i have stumbled and fallen, and yup i have taken the right steps as well, and at this point of time, why do i want someone else to do all the thinking for me? Do tell me what i am to do next? Come on man, i got my parents right behind me, saying yes to every decision i took, regardless of whether right or wrong, and then when i fall, holding me tight and making me walk again.. shut the hell, and mind your business !

Life has never been that good, but it’s been so well judicial, and it’s never been partial, true i don’t regret about what i did in the past, true again, it helped me to realize my potentials and to be a better person, and there is nothing that can replace moms tears, but well, time will heel everything.

It doesn’t really feel good to be the one who has on him, many hopes put on, and when you don’t stand up to that, life becomes a burning hell, and then again, it’s not easy to live tagged as a loser and then find hope in life again. True i had flaws, but there is something i have and many others don’t have, it might sound simple when i say i have seen life so plain, but living then, being a total outsider everywhere, living isolated, the so called alone in the crowd thing, the feeling can never be put into words.. you just need to face and feel it.. true i haven’t face any tragedies in life, i haven’t had any hard heart breaking experiences, but what i went through, that was something that really helped me to be the one who i am now..

Often, i am called as the “worthless philosopher”, but well, all it comes from the li
fe i lived and what i experienced, true i am just 20, and when i talk about things, i see people giving me that look, are you 50 my son, to guide me? I am not sir, am just 20, but i know how it would go.. that is the only answer i have for you !

It never is easy to survive among people who makes friendship seeing the grades and scores, and i have had and i still have such friends who grade friends according to their grades in papers, but well, life is not just about the marks you score, it’s all about living it, and facing it, and experiencing everything that life has in store for you. I have always given my relationships and feelings and emotions a higher priority than the grades i am supposed to score, and till now, that is the only right thing i feel that i have done, and i don’t regret ! dependency is one factor that held me back for long, but then life had another lesson in store for me, and whoa !! that was one hell of a period to live, from an emotionally dependent kid to an independent human, that transformation felt awesome, and that is when these useless philo part became my life style.. life isn’t supposed to be lived on philosophies, it is to be lived for every moment, to be enjoyed and lived happily, regardless of what is next to come, life is to be lived to the core, but when we live for the moment, there is something that we need to do, learn from the past moment and evolve then.

Getting control of my emotions and feelings has served me good, but yeah, i do agree, it has also made me to be who i am not, atleast for some moments, but deep down, you are the only you and i am the only me !

ഓര്‍മ്മയില്‍ നിന്നും..

"ഓർമയുടെ താളുകളിൽ എവിടെയോ നിൻ മൃദുസ്മിതം..
മറക്കുവാൻ വയ്യ, നീ അരികത്തായില്ലെങ്കിലും.."
10

Capturing Theyyam


Theyyam or Theyyattam is a popular Hindu ritual of worship in North Kerala state, India, predominant in the Kolathunadu area (consisting of present-day Kannur and Kasargod districts). As a living cult with several thousand-year-old traditions, rituals and customs, it embraces almost all the castes and classes of the Hindu religion in this region. The performers of Theyyam belong to the indigenous tribal community, and have an important position in Theyyam. This is unique, since only in Kerala, do both the upper-caste Brahmins and lower-caste tribals share an important position in a major form of worship. The term Theyyam is a corrupt form of Devam or God. People of these districts consider Theyyam itself as a God and they seek blessings from this Theyyam.A similar custom is followed in the Tulu Nadu region of neighbouring Karnataka known as Bhuta Kola
(details from here)
P S: sorry for the bad image quality, this is when I wish if I had a better camera :) poor me!
P P S: Image edited to compensate for bad image quality.
6

The Pain Of Parting

yeah, today was the farewell day at college.. and now, college life is officially over !

and thus, there it ended, college life ! moving on! the next phase

so yeah, as said earlier, i am the happiest man leaving college today. am glad that i dont have much of commitments at college.. but still, at this moment when everything is over and seeing those videos over and over, it seems like, am also a lil sad, i too have some selected people to add to my list of forever friends from college.. from silly talks to serious discussions.. that was one heck of 3 years at college ! guys, am gonna miss you all!

i opened this editor page with so much of things to write and now, guess i gotta stop, i cant push the pen any more :(

3

Where we Quit

May be that is where we quit, few steps behind the goal
and then letting HIM to carry us forward!
8

Transition

when i first entered the college, i felt like the outsider, now when i am about to leave the college, i realize " i am the outsider "
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