13

Finally, I Got Over You!

His friends always tell him, “Be a little responsible, Saif!  You’re old enough!.”  He responses, “I’ll BE, when the time comes… it’s time to enjoy life!”  He’s probably the most pampered person to his family and friends.  Although being the eldest brother of his two other sisters, he has always received the love as the youngest gets.  Everyone overlooks his flaws, all his wishes are fulfilled!

The joyous, full of life guy that he has always been, is becoming this lovesick puppy with all the love around.  Everybody loves him!  Except for one; the girl that he likes in his class.  They were really great friends until he expressed his love to her.  May be his love for her was just utter immaturity, but he took it as one great failure of his life. 

He didn’t become alcoholic, neither behaved like a loser, but still that rejection was itching inside him.  She cared for him, she held his hands whenever he needed her beside, she even responded positively when he indirectly hinted to those signs of his love for her.  Then how come she denies at the end?  Did she feel NOTHING?  Or denial was just a survival act?

Like those chauvinistic males, he tells his friends, “Who?  That bitch?  I don’t give a damn to her now.  See, how she manipulates those other guys around her; holding hands, faking to be so C-A-R-I-N-G!  I’m sure she’s just using them.  They might be dreaming if she’s interested in them.  They don’t know yet that she is actually toying with them to see how high they get, to enjoy the scene of how far they fall!”

Saif knows, such dysphemistic comments won’t make his close friends believe that he has got over her, but still he tries his best to show that he’s cool with it and looking forward to some new relationships.  Nevertheless, he and his close friends, they all wonder, despite knowing her inauspicious intentions of playing with others’ emotions, why can’t Saif get over her? 

The girl and Saif don’t talk to each other in the class.  But they sometimes indirectly nudge each other to see their reactions.  Neither of them knows the reason why!  May be he tries to see if there is any impact on her, and she wants to check if he falls prey to her again! 

With the current tit-for-tat game, he’s going out with many other girls at the same time.  As if hurting him, she has taught him the art of hunting too.  He thinks, “It’s really overwhelming to see someone falling for you.  And it’s more fun seeing the person getting higher and higher, and then falling far from the top, JUST FOR YOU!”  With a quirk smile, he tells himself, “I think I’m learning how to put myself in her shoes”. 

He stopped giving any attentions to her, quite willingly.  Though, he’s not serious about the other relationships he is having, he tries to focus more on them rather than concentrating on the vain addiction he had.  But after few days, all seemed to be back!  He found so many missed calls of her in his cell phone, with a sms saying, “Please meet me behind the canteen tomorrow.  I need to talk to you, PLEASE.”

There was a time when he used to feel for her, honestly.  Will all those come alive?  He asks himself in a tensed manner.  He tried so hard to get over with these.  But why did she has to come back when he was almost ready to get her out of his mind?  He thinks, “Whom am I fooling?  This is all that I ever wanted!  She’s coming back to me!  Tomorrow she’ll be mine!”

Barely keeping inside all the exhilarations, he met her the next day.  She was waiting for him at the previously decided place.  Without delaying further, she told him, “I don’t love you, Saif, and I can’t love you.  But can we just be friends?  Just like before?” 

He was numb for a while.  Suddenly everything became clear to him.  All his excitements just have been replaced with some kind of self-elucidation.  He didn’t need to prepare himself to say the last few words to her.  “You’ve always been that selfish bitch.  But it’s only NOW that I realized it!  And you know what?  Finally, I’m feeling that I GOT OVER YOU!  It’s over baby.  Goodbye and go to hell!” 

He leaves without looking back.  He’s glad, REALLY glad.  And yes, the lovesick puppy inside him seems to have grown up too! 

To Shravan,

Thank you so much for giving me this chance to make a guest post on your blog.  Hope to get some promotion after this one!  :P

Two more to go to hit the 100th.  All the very best for everything.  Keep writing and keep smiling.  I’m really glad to get a virtual cute li’l bro like you.  :)

By the way, I just tried to picture a guy’s thoughts in my story.  Hope you all like it.  Don’t know if I could get on his shoes or not!

Lots of wishes and love...

16

November..

The birds in the yard,
the dreaming cattle,
dancing tulips,
murmuring bees,
everything except me smells life..


I can't remember my past,
neither my eyes see the day next,
nor I live every moment..


All I know,
its moments..
tiny moments..


Its November,
Its full of green in my eyes..
Its November my dear friends,
yet another sweet time of the year..


Hold my hands,
as we walk on these sea shore,
let me not wander for diamonds..


I love sand grains..
because, I remember you..
every time they escape from my hands..


how many times I wanted to say,
words deep from my heart,
but...
I thought, 'words doesn't matter'


I let open the cage ,
let the words fly,
let them dance in the air,
let them cry in front of you,
and let me not be shy..


Let me embrace you,
with my words,
& let me say,'I love you'
because its November,
yet another sweet time of the year.

Special Note to Shravan: Dear Shravan, you have always been an encouraging man and I know that you know how great it is to be so.More and more names are being added into the list of people who are gonna smile when they remember you..
Thank you so much..take care.
13

It Is All In Your Hands…


The popular saying goes… “Your life is in your hands.”

Believe in that? At least I do.

I was someone who believed in destiny. I always said to my folks… whatever is destined to happen, will happen. Why worry! But then now I realize… it ain’t like that. May be it never was.

Destiny…is something that transcends your powers…something that was never in our hands. But there is something that is always within your reach… something that you know you can deal with. And that something is… your will!

There have been times when I have complained of not being able to do something because of lack of understanding. But a close scrutiny had made me realize that it wasn’t the lack of understanding, but it was the lack of the WILL & WISH to understand that made me stay away from achieving it.

When I was forced to work in a field that I never wanted to work in, I always felt that I could not make out a word…I just wanted to run away from it. I always made excuses… but the day I sat and thought about it… WHY was it that I was just not able to understand anything, all I realized was that… I never wanted to learn, I was never interested in it, I never owned up my mistakes, I spent all this time whining. Then all I thought about was… how I can do better. How can I outperform myself at each stage?

Things started to settle down. I learnt each day.

It all basically depends on whether or not you want to do it. Life gives you ample opportunities to prove yourself. Justified to say, some of them go unnoticed by us. But, a lot many of them… we close our eyes to it.

It really does not matter if we succeed on grabbing that opportunity, but what surely matters is whether or not you tried. Test your skills, outperform yourself, set bigger and better goals in life. When you know you are better than anyone in this world, why not prove it to the world?

Your life is in your hands. Live it the way you want to.

Shravan,

Here is wishing you all the very best for every endeavour in your life. May God bless you with many such opportunities and with all the sense and sensibility so that you never let even one of those chances go unnoticed.

Loads of love and luck,

Nyx!

21

A Small Difference

ok. ok.. i have read enough of 55fs, there are these masters of the art.. before its too late, taking my time out to try the same.. in the end, i promise to make you laugh.. either for this poor attempt, or for what i wrote !


he walked towards his dad who had his eyes fixed to the laptop screen slowly. reaching closer, he held out the paper he had to his dad.
"what?"
"dad, remember how many times you punished me for that same half mark?"
so?
"earlier i missed just a half mark, now i just scored a half !"
10

First Vote

slow down slow down.. slow dooownnnn.. ermm... nothing... just updating me.. been updating this place a lot more faster than i used to do for the past couple of months.. seriously i was jobless and my temperature plus the atmospheric temperature nearly killed me.. thank god i never lost my tastes.. and taste buds of mine, perfectly functional..

ohk.. fine fair.. so is election tomorrow..  more than that, its my first vote tomorrow, and trust me, i am going to VOTE ! its better not to talk how worse the politics is at Kannur.. the political assassinations, attacks and counter attacks, the place has always been in the media.. but this time around, its all at peace so far.. nothing malicious reported and i hope it thus be.. being a Kannurian has done great things to me.. just to mention, last time when i travelled tot he state capital, the auto driver took just the metre charge only, counter to my first visit when another one took around almost double the charges.. lols.. but trust me, this place is one beautiful place to live at.. the beach, the temples, the peace and the people.. there is definitely LOVE !

so elections.. just one doubt remains in my mind.. is this actually democracy? democracy is for by and of the people right? so isnt fair enough to vote for the leaders the parties select? think think.. what if you dont like any leader at you electorial stations? what if they havent done anything great except for false promises? what can you do then?  you have to vote for anyone right? dont say i wont vote, you are losing your ability to decide then.. be shamed of yourself then.. so yup... introduce NEGATIVE VOTING ! the count of negatives votes increased equals re-election with new leaders.. ermm.. just one wicked thought of mine.. never mind.. but wont it be cool if you can say  a NO to one leader who you dont like, but the parties want you to?

P S : updating twice on a day some time cant do any good ! so there is yesterday's second update, just below this post !

P P S : am gonna be busy from tomorrow, making up for the lost classes, writing notes, completing notes, and phew.. i got two lab exams scheduled on coming thursday and friday, instincts serve me well !

P P P S : i have this ability to sense the question i am gonna get before my lab exams.. never has failed in sensing, but has failed in doing the experiments.. do insticts, serve me a lil earlier :)

Suggested Reading [read as must reading] Flavour by Manivannan S
10

Water Falls & More..

hi hey.. this is the last photo update for this time.. just 5 more pics, 5 pics and i felt good to post.. so see it, enjoy it and let me know !

pic 1 : at the entrace road to edakkal caves, this seems newly crafted !

pic 2 : one moring shot at one tea estate during our way to the water falls..

Pic 3 : Soojippara Water falls Wynad

Pic 4 : Soojippara water falls Wynad

Pic 5 : guard at the water falls..

ohk.. now the last pic is my most loved pic.. look at him, he has to sit there from morning to evening, listening to the sound the water falls make, facing the cold wind and the water drops that come from the falls..

so finally my medical report is out.. temperature 104' degree.. throat : infected, ear : infected, eyes : damaged tear glands, cold, fever and no swine flu.. its just a viral fever.. guess what? i am gonna be home till coming tuesday.. meaning 6 more days lost from attendance :(( my internal scores gone ! phew !!

P S : today first update, is just below this post !


P P S : look at Sachins strike rate : nearly 125. oh boy oh boy.. oh btw, dont forget to click on the images to see it enlarged.
10

Dew Drops

i know i know, this picture is not clear and i know, you are confused and not able to figure out :) well that is one spider web with dew drops hanging like beads.. that was one great scene to watch, but again, not good in my film.. there is two pics from two angles, let your imaginations fly, on thinking how this would have looked, if you see it in real..



shot at one tea estate on our way to the water falls.. so watch out, its the water falls image up next here :)

gawdd.. help me win a lotto.. i need a new camera :((

erm.. dont cast that look up on me.. dont ask me why are you updating now when you are supposed to be at college? i am sick and i am hope.. down with fever, since last sunday.. come see me, dont forget to bring apples and oranges.. no grapes please, am allergic :D
10

Stone Crafts

This picture is from the Edakkal caves, 4000 feets above sea level.. edakkal caves is a must visit place when you travel to Wynad, and it was really heart breaking to know that the govt has ruled out climbing over 4000 feets due security reasons.. that rule does ensure the security of the people, but definitely causes the visitors to miss a lot of things to see. this image is supposed to written over the rocks, using stone, around 2000 years past..and this is where i lack a good camera.. see how dumb this awesome work looks in my film.. this image is said as the painting of the then king[see the feather crown works]


the origin of the name edakkal caves is from the malayalam word that means the stone in between.. the structure of edakkal caves is in such a way there are are two rocks, with the enrty passage and another stone is laid on top of it, covering it from the top and making is as a cave.. the third stone that functions as the shade caused the name edakkal..

oy, pray i win the lotto some day so that i can buy one new cam, a HD one !
10

Lonely Roads

the isolated, lonely roads
where shadows dance in joy
dark and bright they cast
like the shades of life.


this path leads you to the place where the water flows, breaking all shatters of rocks leaving you to wonder and tune in to the music of the nature.. there you will walk through the bamboo forests, seeing the monkeys run climb chase and play.. [ Location :Kuruva Islands - Wynad]

As promised, here is he second photo post !
10

Thoughts Of An Optimistic Pessimist

what's life? -without these little tensions and fears?
what's life? -without the feeling when you overcome all blocks?

there were days when i really felt lost and defeated, there were days when i felt no energy to fight back, and there were moments that made me cry, but again, there were these people who never wanted me to quit, accept defeat and cry.. there were hands held out for me to walk, and shoulders to support me, and there were friends who left me amidst all the probs.. there were people who i wished if stayed for long ! and look, there are some left, there are some moving away, and there are some who dont care !

at this moment of time, i know, there were things known and unknown to be, but, there is something that you know, that who you are ! so finally its time i move of, from the residues and left outs of the broken relationships, and making sure, those stays worth staying and those leaves worth leaving ! its never easy leaving people behind you in life especially when you are so close to them, and again, its not easy to move on after leaving some people. it definitely creates some void in you, it does generate the incomplete feeling in you, but in the end, realize, its your life, and you decide the way you leave it, either mourn for those who never knew you, or live for those who even understood your silence. !

relationships in life is such a complicated thing to understand, at times you feel so good to have all relationships around you, and at odd times, you thirst to be left alone. life is never complete and worth when you neglect relationships, but make sure that the relationships you keep are indeed relationships !

oh yes, its time i quit writing nonsense.. its worthless to read.. i just graved my thoughts, anger and feeling of insecuruty here :) after all its my place to grave things that i am bothered about

P S : its election time here, and i get to vote my first vote ! voting on seventh november and i hope and pray that no blood shed occurs this time and no violence is created as well..yup yup kannur is known for the political feuds and assassinations!

P P S : i finally won the battle with bsnl, i now on a new modem and i plan to purchase an additional modem soon, with increased range for wireless !

P P P S : there are some photographs kept ready to post here, but wait until my tele lines are reinstalled. i dint pay the bill as they took time to solve my issue, tommorrow its all gonna be settled

P P P P S: എല്ലാ മലയാളികള്‍ക്കും ഹൃദയം നിറഞ്ഞ കേരളപ്പിറവി ദിനാശംസകള്‍..
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