so so so finally, i am at my native place, at this pure village where also the changes are happening.. and look at me browsing from a land line connection with an awesome speed of 14kpbs :) image you hit a link and wait for 15 minutes to load the page :P fun isnt it? ok.. i am feeling so good at home.. peace.. mental peace.. tension free.. no bugging telephone calls, no text messages.. yeah yeah.. no range for my mobile.. and well, bsnl sucks again ! and i got two words fro bsnl, suck it ! its36 hours that i am not being able to sent a text message.. suck it bsnl.. enough of providing the free service with no quality ! enough! i agree you provide me calsl with just 49ps/min adn 2000 free messages per month.. but my other services are better. they deliver the texts in time and connect the calls faster than you do.
ohkk.. so i said right? i am at native. and i am in good mood.. free of all tensions and i am loving it.. will be back soon, if i am not going for the tour with friends !
smell of the soil
lonely roads
rain drops
shades of trees
heaven on earth
its my home place
i am loving it. i am loving it and i am loving it !

The Game

The toughest of all games to play is the game of life.. you never know who and what attacks where and when!

not to be the king,
but to just exist,
give me the strength
not to kill, but to survive.

Random Ramblings

so finally finally its holidays.. yeah yeah... onam holidays.. 10 days of no work for me.. but i got some works to do.. :) some real tough jobs to do.. and to add to my worries, my exam schedules are out.. starting from 14th Sept to 16th Sept.. ok its fine that i have seen, heard, wrote enough of exams.. am bored of writing it.. but when the score sheets are given back, all i had, have and will have to say is, better next time :P but this time around things are different.. i have realised and defined my goals.. i am focused.. after all this is my last year at college, and this is what would decide my future.. and i need to cover for the "impressive" performance in 12th.. so 10 days i am home and this time around, there is no wasting time.. its gonna be trips, studies and old friends.. almost scheduled everything..

and the onam celebrations at college was awesome this year ! loved it to the core.. and what fun we all had.. the last onam celebration at this college and sad, we didnt win the prize.. who cares, participation is more important than winning.. girls, they look stunning in saree :P and now, laugh when i say, wearing a saree is an art ! seriously, it can make one average looking girl so so so gorgeous and a sweet heart to a dumb. and here i go with my personal statement, a girl looks best in a saree when she shows what is to be shown and and when she hides what is to be hidden.. got it right? any altered proportion will ruin the beauty of hers..
ok now.. but it seems like i will have to bunk the first day after reopening.. yeah yeah.. she is coming home to see me.. she is coming home to see me.. i feel like dancing... (read as: eyeeeeeeee feeeeeeeeelllllllllll laayyyyyyyyyyykkkkkk daaaaaannnnncccciiiiinnnggggggggggggg) :P will have to think about it.. another day to my absence tally can make it sure that i lost 1 mark out of the 10 internal scores. 9 days of absence is where i stand now and 10 means, the maximum score i would get is 9.. damn it. and if there is lab on 8th, the chances of me bunking is less than 50 %. girl i miss you :P
and now that sets the primary goals, for this time, or until April its academics first and affairs second.
and i feel like its time i prioritize things in my life, including persons. i have had enough by letting people eat my head, spend my time for them, and in the end, ruin my peace.. i have had enough of back stabbing.. so people, its time i make my list of you all clear.. am not going to let someone else rule my emotions any more.. i am not going to have someone under the label friend for just the sake of it. enough is enough..
so now, tell me, who is a best friend? or define a best friend.. and tell me this too, if its fair enough to exit from someone's life who calls you a friend and who you call a friend, provided the person is showing no regard no concern.. and exit, being a fading away with no words said?
with all these confusions and worries running in my mind, life still is great ! it feels so good to give yourself, your happiness and your smile the first priority, provided they don't hurt anyone else's feelings and emotions :)
(# and just decided not to change this template. thanks for the feedback hasna chechi,Mani, Lopa,KP sir, Deepika and Kajal Chechi.## Hasna chechie, i liked what you said.. and black coz its my favouite colour.### Kajal chechie,and thats what i did right now by making this decision, listening to my heart )

Shedding My Anger

I just hate these peoples.. these kind of wierd people who sneak into my mobile screen when i text some one when i am travelling.. There is nothing that offends them when i text my friends or someone else. Bloody hell.. these people got no other business than to look in to my screen and to irritate more, read my texts.. fine i am quick enough that i sent my texts in just fractions of seconds time.. but still its my privacy.. its my liberty and its my freedom..

ohk.. its fine that you put your head in my business.. now please dont start to lecture me.. am not interested.. please dont start to open your mouth and say " this generation is lost" all i got to say is fcuk off ! am texting someone doesnt mean that i let you talk all craps.. mate i am not interested.. ohk fine now.. i listened to all your )(!#&!*%#!)#@!s.. now enough.. give me some peace.. no not again.. ok.. i have no offense.. you had the best phone in the market.. man dont care.. i give a damn.. ok your doctor asked you to stop using it.. so what for me? you do not have a kid as you used mobile.. damn it.. thats the first time you made me laugh.. enough of these lectutes mate.. just give me some peace.. i have my own probs to take care of !

ohk.. now.. thats peace for some 5 mins

tring tring.. tring tring..
me :morning da paray
she :*!#%!&%#^)(!#&!#!
me :is it? when?
she :(&#*!#^)!#(*!*#^!)
me : i'll wait.. sent me
she :#!&#%!#!)#^!*(#
me :me in bus.. later di
she :!#&*!%#*&%!#(!)
me :bye, take care..
she : you too
me : catch you online.
she : bye.. miss you.

ohk.. that she was my friend calling for some helps. and there you go again

a smile, me smile back.. and damn the lectures again..

he: who called?
me :a friend !
he :a smile
me :(i got you) a smile
he :who girlfriend? and all the blah blah blah
me :(your wife, you aint paying my telephone bills.. wtf.. ruined my morning) smile

phew.. man you suck big time !

and there are these kind of people who take the bus as their dads.. they get it, stand by the support post and there they get cemented.. the bus isnt your dads and there are others to travel as well.. in this rush you keep your bag to one side.. you talk over your cell phone as if you rule the world.. you do all the dancing steps.. and you never move.. fcuk!

ohk.. enough of shedding my anger.. i am at peace and nice to have bored you, and made you missing your time reading all these blah blah blahs if you read

P S : had to come back to alter the template.. as Kajal Chechie said, seems like i am growing a perfectionist with the template stuff.. with my addiction to this template, i find no other template better which has made me seek the help of Eternal Thinker (ET) aka Rahul Anand to modify this template to a three column one and more, which made me to write a mail to the coder of this template.

P P S : its hard to stay away from this place and i have this request to vote for Stephen at the IndiBlogger Comp.to vote, click here.

P P P S : i am loving the reliance gsms new offer... now we are connected 24*7.
P P P P S : am just 5 posts away from 50 good for nothings :) cheers and thumps up to me :) :P


Rhyming to Hasna's recent update in my own ways.. read her try here.

turn around for once
nothing to be lost then
turn around for just once
see there, in the shades,
a mom's joy, a dad's pride
a sister's love,and her heart,
a piece of you, yet to alter,
the real soul of you,
surviving in that broken piece.

P S : this post is a dedication to a wonderful person in my life, sheetal chechi, for being the real she always, for not wearing a mask on her face. Dear chechi, i love you.
P P S : guess title has nothing to do with the post.

വിട | Farewell

യാത്ര പറയുവാന്‍ നേരമായി..
എനിക്കായി ചിതയൊരുങ്ങുന്നു..
പ്രത്യാശയുടെ തിരിനാളം കാണുന്നു..
പ്രതീക്ഷകള്‍ക്ക് ജീവന്‍ വെക്കുന്നു..
വിട, നശ്വരമാം ഈ ജീവിതത്തിന്‌..
ഞാന്‍ എരിഞ്ഞടങ്ങുന്നു..


its time for me to leave..
but its then
that i see the light of hope.
farewell, my life !

P S :Love is in the air. today's first update[done just past an hour earlier], is just below this post, i hope that you don't miss it.

P P S :answering the question about my header, about the contradiction there, the bright day light and the graveyard, i hope this post justifies it.

Her Love

and there he is emotionless, dead
with all his blood drained out, pale
she came in, kissed him
and then, he rose to, life, again !

What say folks, on Mercy Killing? I say yes, legalize and amend the rules, but make it sure that it doesn't become an alternative for suiciding with fake certificates and that it doesn't turn out to be a business for many..

its better to let them die, than to let them live life as in hell.


मेरे आसुओं से बहती कविता
तेरे चेहरे पर मुस्कान लाती है
जो दिखाती हे एक नया दुनिया
जहाँ तू सिर्फ़ एक सपना


എന്റെ കണ്ണുനീരില്‍ ചാലിച്ചെഴുതിയ കവിതകള്‍
നിന്നില്‍ പുഞ്ചിരി വിടര്‍ത്തുമ്പോള്‍
കാണാമെനിക്കൊരു പുതുലോകം,
നീ വെറും ഒരു സ്വപ്നമാണെന്ന് അറിയുന്നുവെങ്കിലും.


When the poems written in my tears
bring a smile on your face
i can see a new world of love
though i know, you are just a dream.

with all thanks to my electronics lecturer, Praveen Sir who wrote the hindi lines for the malayalam words that i penned this morning.. what an awesome day !

P S : read the three write ups as different units though it may seem like translations.
( happy about the comments i received for the previous post)

Her Love

There she stood, wait for him, with those roses in hand.. Dressed in his favourite red and black, she looked gorgeous... there, she waited, at that isolated corner beneath the tree... She waited and waited for long till it rained... she kept that flowers on the marble flake next to her and walked away..

The writings on the flake read

With the rain and the breeze she felt him all around... with him around, she walked off with a smile on her lips

True Love Never Dies.
Update : Anil Sawan, thank you -- the only words i can find now to reply to your comment at the other blog.. and i still do not know why there was a drop of tear in my eyes.. This day will be great for me. God Bless You :)

All Of A Sudden

My Life Changed...
See how my life changed... in just two days, my life is too busy... I don’t even have time to read the news paper in the morning... my days used to be started with that newspaper and morning tea, and I love reading the newspaper starting from the sports page and ending at the political stuff page... I miss reading the newspaper...

And I am bored... am so so so bored that I have given up using orkut, I have started playing farmvillie in face book and I am in need of neighbors.. And I started mafia wars and I need one more family member there too... damn it... I am this bored that I started talking all the quizzes in face book too... and importantly, bored of being bored, I have found a new hobby too… guess what? I have started reading my books... yeah yeah the college books... electro magnetic theories, micro processors, communication systems and computer technologies... and more than that, I got a time table for myself..

I am bored that I made a time table for me saying I will not now browse late nights... I will not stay online after 1 am... And I have decided to bring a smile on my moms face... and yeah... it’s not easy to follow the timetables... but guess what? I have started... and the first thing am doing is not to browse after 1 am unless its necessary... and thanks to dad for saying, you can browse in the morning if you wake up... so that makes the second decision... up from bed by 4. 45 from next Monday :)

Life is changing and so am I... damn it that people started complaining... Shravan you have changed... Shravan I am not liking this change in you... I know dear, I am changing, but my soul and heart is still the same... its just that I am evolving, I am being a bit more dependent on me and independent on others.. It’s just that I am controlling my emotions and thoughts and words... and guess what? I am controlling my anger levels too :) am loving this change...

And my relationship status is becoming so clear for me... its not just infatuation... its not just the crush or stuff... think its serious and I am being practical.. And the last break up is helping me to have an almost filled wallet... am saving too... but with out that relationship, I wouldn’t have learned what loving someone really meant... and with all the experience from that relationship, now I know, loving someone is not just hooking up over the phone late nights till morning and then sleeping in class, its not just all those text messages and calls, its not just those ims and offline messages and chat sessions.. And loving is not just you knowing that I love you and I knowing that you love me...

My ex was one gem of a person to be with, but we aren’t destined to be together... girl you still mean to me, and am happy about the way we parted... no tears and no byes.. Be there for me and I will be here for you :)...

" വീണുടഞ്ഞ കണ്ണാടിച്ചില്ലില്‍
കാണാമെനിക്കു പല ഭാവങ്ങള്‍
എങ്കിലും അതില്‍ ഞാനില്ലയെന്ന
പരിഭവം ബാക്കി.. "

1 Month Of Continuous Blogging

so today i complete the 31 continuous days of blogging with just quantity and no quality.. and as i said in the previous post, am not going to do this again.. am not going to be the one who updates daily with posts that make no sense.. so let me end this activity with this post..
was busy doing the template modifications yet again.. from yesterday night to this moment, tested around 5 templates and liked none.. i am madly in love with this template and the colors.. and guess what? i am not going to change this template for long..
ok now.. its time to share some links.. for those friends who asked me how to change the templates.. here you go..

for templates, i recommend B templates. browse and find your favourite template, download it and upload. that's all you need to do to get the new template done.. and now before you upload, do not forget to back up your sidebars bottom and top bars, they all will be reset..
ok.. now.. some tools that i recommend to use.
1. Google Analytics - helps you track and keep record of your blog activities.. everything from visitor location to visitor count, everything that you need to see about your blog.
2. Pax counters - easy to customise and easy to upload..
3. Google Search - from helps to images and templates..
4. Wordpad - helps you to edit your template
5. Learn Keyboard short cuts- you will have to you a lot of control f's to edit your template.
6. Picasa from google to minor edit images and to upload them to web.
7. Paint brush - easy to mix the images.
8. Time and Patience..
and finally, some more links :-
to add a horizontal link list as i use (home, Login, Logout stuff), move to this place

to add a 3 column footer, i say this is the best option to have, if you load your blog with a lot of side bar stuffs and when you have only one side bar.. and more that that, having a 3 column footer helps loading your contents faster.. move to this place.
for those who struggle to find the color codes that match, move to this place.
and finally, let me sum up saying this, all these links are selected from personal knowledge and i do not claim them to be the perfect places for you to get help. but its so far so good for me, using all these stuffs..
and final tip, try blending the images of two or more templates to give your blog a wonderful look, and look at mine, i tried the acid rain and the halloween and now i have the halloween's footer image for my acid rain's footer and a custom made header instead of the acid rain header. :P
P S : i am bored.. my brain is in a trance state.. i have nothing to do other than to play NFS MW for the second time, but again, i am bored of racing after reaching just the 11th place at the black list.

Blog Renamed

and after 30 days of continuous blogging, i have renamed the blog.. this place is no more called as " the daily ramblings of a lonely soul".. and from now on, its
" the graveyard of my own thoughts ".. and i now request all those people who blog roll this place to update the name with the new one...
and the URL is still the same, www.quillinginblood.blogspot.com
anyone know why my updated wasn't shown in any rolls? anyone knows about the error in it? tell me now.. feels so sad to have 0 visitors for the first time, and not to see the updates in the rolls.. something is wrong some where.. :( poor me, knowledge itna kam hein ki ab you people need to tell me why..
ok now.. why the name change? realizations mate realizations.. it is not easy to post on all days.. and when you tend to do that, you lose the quality and i have just realized that.. another reason is that, its time for me to hit books.. final year hein.. padna hi hoga..
so from tomorrow onwards, there wont be any daily updates, but yeah, i will be around..
love shravan.
P S : the error in my updates might have caused you to miss today first post on independence day.. read it right below this post..
P P S : and look, i have a new header too.. feel so good to do it all by myself :)

Independence Day Greetings

As always late to bed and late from bed... it felt so good to wake up this morning... quoting one of those wide spread text messages,

7th largest country...
4th largest army...
3rd largest railways...
2nd highest populated country...
2nd fastest growing
2nd in production of tea and rice...
1st production of mica...
World’s largest democracy...
World’s largest work force...
Super power in 2020...
It’s all...
Our one and only...
Proud to be a citizen of this Great Country...

I know, this is the same text message that we [exclude you if don’t] send on all Independence days and Republic days... is that all we can do to? We are independent, we are. But are we really? Are we strong enough, developed enough to call us independent? Independence is not all about having our own government, our own rules and regulations... independence is when we can proudly say we are Indians, when our mother india is in the right track of progression, when there is no political wars, no counter attacks, no poverty, educated citizens, no social anarchies, and no racial discriminations. Its Indepence when we value our past, when we learn from out past, when we don’t forget our ethics and values of lives, when we respect our culture, when we dont degrade ourselves... call it an independence day then, and till then, go celebrate.. So here I too join in the celebrations...

Happy Independence Day to you all...

And now, I just can’t resist the urge to put up all the images I got as a forward mail... Here you go...


Am Back

so here i am, at my place, at my home, exhausted but happy.. tired but content.. so where was i last day? i miss my last night's sleep.. so where was i? i was at my college.. today was the date of releasing of our college magazine.. and it feels so good to be a part of that work..
for the lat 9 months, it was hardwork and sleepless nights.. today, all these have come to and end and we have in our hands, the college magazine, first one in the history of our college.. its titled " idamillathavar" meaning people with no space for themselves.
as i said, i am too exhausted.. i have missed yesterday's sleep and day before yesterday's sleep.. time to be in bed... details later :)
all the hardworks
all the sleepless nights
and all the efforts..
in the end,
all the smiles..


wish if i could just wander
like those dark clouds,
pour down heavily..
turn a dew and die..

a rainbow born,
for a moments time..

Life Is So Good

the last two days, or including today till evening.. it was like .. me going back to that emotional character, feeling so isolated and lost.. so worried about the ways things are going.. damn damn damn.. cursing my network provider.. not managing to sleep wel.. missing my cell phones.. dad where is the phone you promised?

And to sum up this day, all I can say is I had a wonderful day.. True it was worse till evening.. but after getting into that bus, things changed.. I met her .. and she still remembers me.. and her youngest daughter is so so so cutee.. her smile healed all my pains and worries.. till 5 in the evening.. it was like.. ahh.. crap.. leave it apart..

There he stood at the bus bay, waiting and waiting.. and then the bus came.. painted in blue and white, kerala road transport corporations Malabar express.. in a hurry to reach home, and see his mom and to see if she is fine.. he boarded the bus..

there she was.. she and her lil kid.. and the face was quite familiar to him…. She winked at her.. not just once, but thrice and finally managed to ask are you uma madam? And then she nodded her head in approval..

He sat next to her.. and asked

Teachernu enne ormayundo? [do you remember me teacher?]

And came her reply

Nee ente monalle? Nine njan marakkuvo? [how will I forget you? You are my son na?]

Oh boy oh boy.. his emotions cant be explained by words.. and they talked for the next 30 mins, thanks to the pwd department, the roads turned miniature rainwater harvestment pits and the bus ran very slow.. she asked him about family, academics and future plans..

She still remembered all his likes, and his mannerisms.. she remembered his love for chocolates and did ask him “ Shravan, do you still sing” and he smiled at her.. the same smile that used to be on his lips whenever he had no answers..

Her kid was soo cutee.. she smiled, she winked she hugged and she sang.. the 5 year old lil kid was so so so beautiful that she erased all his worries.. she had a lot of things to tell him.. about her school, her elder sister.. about her toys, about her mom telling stories.. and in the end.. she had that chocolate to give to him as a token of her love…

Dear Anjali, you won my heart with those gestures and innocent smiles, with those soft words and winks.. love you dear.. and dear uma maa’m, thanks for remembering this kid of yours.. love you..

As always, I am not able to find the right words to explain the way I feel.. all I know is, it felt so so so good to meet my beloved teacher… so so so great to know that she still remembers me and so so so great that she sees me as her own son.. life is so good..

Flame & Spider Net

it can burn and
it can light up..
its the way you use it,
that matters..


weave your life,
like that spider,
with care and no flaws
no matter when
and who breaks it.

I need to make another post to tell about this wonderful day, and before i start writing it and before i schedule it to be published after some hours, let me thank stephen aka the solitary writer for the wonderful awards.. thank you stephen.. still confused why me !


Title shamelessly copied from Crazy Beginnings.
Just loved this acrostic titled
Pawn by Apurva and here is my take on that same theme..

every challenges of my life, i face
with all hopes of success,
just like that pawn attempting
to wean out the nobles..

whether i win or not,
there is always an end.
and thus, i know,
there is my destiny awaiting.

i loved this day.. no worries no tensions... no exams.. occasional rains.. nice climate and homely food.. :) sad my mom is ill again.. but i hope she will be fine in no time.. and look at this, three posts for the day.. ask me are you nuts ? are you crazy?

praying for my mom to be fine soon..
with lots and lots of love..
its shravan signing off for today..
good night folks..

PS : Scroll down to read the two previous updates :)
and you must see it.. ever heard someone scolding me? read the comments.. and yeah, i liked it .. and i will appreciate if anyone you turns out to be that frank.. i love being criticized !


ഒരു നാള്‍,
രാത്രിയുടെ നിശബ്ദതയില്‍
അവള്‍ വരും..
തൂവെള്ള വസ്ത്രമണിഞ്ഞ്‌..
പതിഞ്ഞ കാലോച്ചകളോടെ..
പുഞ്ചിരി തൂകി,
കണ്‍കളില്‍ വശ്യമായ
അനുഭൂതി ഒളിപ്പിച്ച്‌..

ഞാന്‍ പോലും അറിയാതെ,
എന്റെ ജീവന്‍
അവളില്‍ അലിഞ്ഞു ചേരുമ്പോള്‍
അവളെ മരണമെന്നു വിളിക്കാം..
(Image from Google for the search word entwined)
PS : and the previous post is just below this
PPS : this post has got nothing to do with the author's emotions.. its truly and sincerely and imaginative work.


വജ്രത്തേക്കാള്‍ കാഠിന്യവും
പൂവിനെക്കാള്‍ മൃദുലതയും
ഒരുപോലെ വഴങ്ങുമെന്ന്‌..

words can hurt, and words can heal.. thats sums it up :P

My First Interview

it was a pleasant surprise to see the interview request in the comment box from The Pakistani Spectator .. and was thinking why me? and it was great doing that.. still wondering why me? who still has got no great achievements in the blogosphere.. and it was fun doing the interview.. smokes came out of my head and nose and ears at times when i answered, when i had to see if the spellings were all correct and all :P and now, read it here.

@ Ghazala Khan, my heartfelt thanks for this..

ahh.. the rain shattered all my plans.. i planned to go to native today and it rained.. i cancelled my plans.. and i am home, with nothing to do, with my old pc's monitor damaged and hard disc burned.... i loved my old pc.. and here is it. the pic of my old pc..

i love this pc, its very old, more than 4 years, but its was the best when i purchased it then, and went to on do a great deal of help and had enough of fun until my uncle gave me the compaq lappie i am using now..
PS : searching for the last tag i answered? scroll down.. its just below this..


and thus someone heard my cry to get tagged.. thank you for the mail dear.. it would have been better if i could know your identity.. i am glad that you read me, i am glad that you found that tag and you thought that i must answer it.. and here you go :

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

And the first thing I do before doing this tag is change the RULE #2. :P its my blog its my rules here.. so I am not going to tag anyone, but its open for all who want to do.. there may be some desperate bloggers like me who liked to get tagged.. this is for all you people.. feel free to write..

1.If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
the first reaction will of course be WTF.. will feel sad for sure, but I will move on.. if she has betrayed me, I didn’t miss anything, but she will miss someone who loved her more than anything and anyone else.. now I will know she is not worthy being my love.. and thus I will have my final words for her, fcuk off..

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
are you nuts?only one dream? Each and everyone has a no of dreams.. and now damn.. how am I going to select just dream to come true.. ok.. well,i know the trick, I will then want my dream of having a home at a peaceful place, nearby the sea, with free air and light, my family members there, a porch in front of it, a car in it, a shelf inside my room, money in it, a wife, two children.. of course one boy and a girl.. well, all these in just one dream I saw and this must come true..

3. Why do you blog?
to be myself, to express myself, to have a place for myself, but in the end, to share my thoughts, and my dreams, and then to read the rest of all wonderful blogs that offer me a great deal than some of the published authors.. and now, when I confess, the reason for me to start blogging in 2005 was, I heard it could generate easy money through ads. Yeah, I was in blogosphre in 2005, but now, i blog, to be the real me at the place which i call call mine,of course the credit goes to blogger.com for providing me with this place for free. and to be at a place, where i have the final word. i love being a dictator and autocrat at times :P

4. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
I will always love my best friend.. but never in the sense and ways of partner.. for me, my best friend has the position of my sister too in my life.. but yeah, I love my best friend, more than I love any one else, except for my mom, including the girl I am hooked up with right now..

5. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
ahh.. damn.. this is like than text message which was forwarded a no of times.. and hence,I end this question in the same way the text ends.. its nice to love and its good to be loved.. but its great when you love someone and that someone loves you back.. loving someone and being loved by someone, in my concern, both are equal..

6. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
I never had to wait.. i was always wanted.. and but to find the real soul mate, I guess, I will have to wait for long, and cant predict right now.. but when I find, I will know, she will know and you will know.

7. Would you ask out the person whom you like?
Sure! I wont mind asking.. but, only if there is some indications that there is interest in going out... wont ask straightway.. that’s sure too.. will take my time before I decide..

8. What do you want to be known for when you die?
I wish if I could die at night, with no pain felt, with no one watching me.. or just like Alexander Pope wrote in his quiet life :

Thus let me live unseen, unknown;

Thus unlamented let me die;

Steal from the world, and not a stone

Tell where I lie.

9. What takes you down the fastest?
Cheating, back stabbing..

10. What resurrects you the fastest?
Music, love, care, a rain, a bright moring.. a cup of coffee, no works to do.. a refreshing bath, a lond drive, the beach side..

11. What’s your fear?what do I fear for?
heights and sounds.. and I fear coz I have the hearing problems and balancing problems..

12. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Anonymous.. that’s it.. someone left me with this tag in my mail box.. and asked me to write it, and not to disclose his/her name.. so anonymous.. but yeah, I guess the person is friendly and helping.. after all he/she heard me crying loud for a tag..

13.Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
moderately rich and committed :) haha.. its never practical getting married and being single, and its never good being rich and single.. and i prefer not to marry when i am rich..

14. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
that’s tricky.. I was in this kind of a situation for real... I knew they both liked me and I liked them too.. but I didn’t pick anyone.. I let myself free to be with them and that’s what I will do in future too :) to love, you don’t have to pay tax..

15. Would you give all in a relationship?
if that relationship is worth giving the full of me, I will, or else, I wont mind letting that go.. but even if I want to let go, I will try my best to stay on it.. I will give everything, other than being the real me in a relationship.

16. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
I may not forget if I was hurt that badly, and about forgiving? Who am I to forgive? But yeah, will take my time to accept his apology if he is offering it.. after all I am not God to forgive at the instant when you plead.. am the raw human with all emotions..

17. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Of course in a relationship.. i hate to be alone.. i love to have someone around me, and thus, i will prefer being in a relationship, of course with someone who is worthy of being associated with me, you will know my heart out.

18. Who/what inspired you to start blogging?
I justed wanted to have a free space for my own and that’s how I started it with "me online" in 2005 and "quilling in blood" in 2007.. but then Heyden called harbajan "obnoxious weed" and then the word obnoxious entered my wordlist and I fell I love with that, which in turn led to the making of then next blog, "obnoxious mind"..

19. Why does one tag?
To kill time, to know something more about the blogger, for fun.. that’s all I know..

20. Tag 6 people:
I skip this question. See my RULE #2. but people, I would love to read all your answers… so come on, pick it up.. its worth a try I guess..

and now, its time for me to sleep.. it was fun doing this tag.. and my day was a very ordinary one today, though i met brother and sister unexpected in the noon, and guess what? i am going to native tomorrow.. and that means more fun.. will be back in the evening for sure..

PS : i know my friends read what i write, and majority of my friends dont blog, but they do read, they read what many others write too.. and since i guess, its all fine answer the tag that i got thought the mail.. even if its not fine, its fine for me, i was bored.. and i love doing tags..
PPS : my dedication to my mother was the previous post of today.. read it below.

Phew !

phew ! and finally the exams are over.. and now i can without any problem start scolding my university people.. seriously, its the worst university to be in.. damn it !! why why me there? just coz mom didn't want to sent me away? just coz dad feared that i will drink smoke and drug? just coz am my moms kid even now? no no no.. its just coz i am not worthy of being in any other universities.. sucks big time...
so the last 2 weeks of July and this week of August.. i was damn busy with my exams.. guess what? i was writing the lab exams of my 2nd year.. and right now, i am in the final year with the third academic month already started.. yeah yeah.. right.. writing the 2nd years' exam in the third year.. and that's where i say, my university suck big time !
from syllabus decisions to execution, from program planning to execution.. you people suck. and with valuations its even more worse.. guess what? it takes 8 months for you to correct the exam sheets and publish the mark lists.. damn it! exam over by may and you publish the results in next January or February.. but i am thankful for this delay.. this is helping me to shout at your face, with no worries of my scores being discussed : my results are yet to be out for the second year.. and by the time the result is out, this post shall be forgotten :P
when will you crazy idiotic people learn the wonderful art of administration and learn to execute the plans with perfections? i feel ashamed to say that i study at this university..
ahh.. enough i guess.. and the exam? it went awesome.. got the outputs and did the modifications.. my luck that the external didn't check the program :).. printfs and scanfs can be so useful to print the outputs without the logics and calculations.. :P not to forgot, i cheated with the modification.. it wasn't right.. but yeah, you saw it right.. its just coz u entered values less that 16.. else you would have seen a -24558 or a + 12 :P now you cant do anything dear.. you saw my modified output perfect.. put the scores 5/5 for that.. know what? i didn't know if it was combo box to use.. i didn't know that i need to set the 3 parameters.. but guess what? i knew the short cut.. and with that, and with just one function, i fooled you again.. i locked that text box that you might use to find the errors.. once i set the data in, it was never going to be reset.. you will have to break and do the prog again... oh boy oh boy i loved it :)
doing the template modifications in blog can be so helpful when you are writing the computer science lab examination.. seriously, it will help.
PS: i am bored, anyone got any tags for me?

The Worn Mask

One day, I found that day..
The day, I missed all along..

Of joys, of smiles, of love,
Of fun, of care, of wonders,
Of hopes, of dreams, of desires..
Of success, of merry, of life..

The day, finally had come to me,
When I lay, buried under my masks
Of a son, of a brother, of a lover..
Of life lived, of tears shed, of hearts broken.

The day had come to me,
And the last moment,
When my plain face exposed,
Of emotions shown, regardless of the soul.

i, with no shame copied the concluding part of this post by Ananya Chatterjee, and then penned these lines in these five minutes, for i liked that line.

PS : I hope this doesn't violate any Copyright rules.

No Time To Spare

no.. don't start saying what the hell? go and eat your books.. had my morning dose of public static void main and string args and system dot out dot printlns.. :) oh yeah.. data input stream and clrscr too :)

so what am i doing here? heard its Rakshabandhan.. so just came to wish all you folks a happy rakshabandhan.. no images.. didnt like any images google displayed :P

so for all those brothers and sisters.. for all those who care, for those who care the wonderful bond of brother sister relation.. for all my sisters, for all my virtual sisters, for everyone,

Happy Rakshabandhan..

come on now, here is my hand.. feel like having a brother like shravan? go ahead tie it up :)

and here is the return gift for you..

ohkk now.. let me go eat my real breakfast and and start eating the books.. a lot more to come... ioexceptions, throws, array out of bounds exceptionss.. and finally system dot exit of zero..
so tomorrow its going to be fun.. and finally my external would tell me.. idiot.exit(room)
PS : there wont be another update for this day.

Let Me Sleep

ഇനി ഞാന്‍ ഉറങ്ങട്ടെ..
ഇനിയൊരു നാളെയില്ലെങ്കിലോ?

ഇല്ലാത്ത നാളെയുടെ പേടിയില്ലാതെ
ഇന്നു ഞാന്‍ ഉറങ്ങട്ടെ, എല്ലാം മറക്കട്ടെ..

Wondering about the lines? ha ha.. that's in my mother tongue, Malayalam.. and i know you want to know what it's all about.. the caption says it all.. you want me to explain? listen to me chit-chat for a while then..

first things first, i am not sure if i will update tomorrow or not, for i have my exam on day after tomorrow.. and that is the last exam in this series now and its going to be tough.. either me will get it full or i will make it a big zero.. its all about programming. :P

and phew.. yet another boring day.. damn that i messed it up with a junior.. dear junior,i told you, keep away from me, you haven't understood me well, or as my favourite character Iago says, "I am not what I am " wondering why Iago is here? the credit goes to Artz..
OK now... i quit.. yeah yeah.. i remember.. you read all these lines to know what i wrote in Malayalam right? i keep promises.. here you go..

its too late in the night..
let me sleep now..
who knows if..
there is a tomorrow or not..
with no worries of tomorrow
let me sleep this night..
let me forget all the rest...


Let Me Ramble My Thoughts

With my status being announced in the "previously posted, now removed temporary write up", now let me break the shells and go on talking.. i have no idea about this topic that i am going to pen down here now.. its all instantaneous and penned at this right moment, in my blogger home page with no proper ideas and preparations..enough of introduction now i guess..
so tell me how did you day go? mine was quite an ordinary day with regular boring stuffs, home-college-hotel-home that is my summary of the day.. wondering about what i am going to write ha? its no suspense.. Live-In Relationships.. yeah, that's the topic i feel like talking today.. and firstly, very firstly, i would rather be in a LIR that get committed in the real way of a marriage..
for those who wonder about LIR, A living arrangement in which an unmarried couple lives together in a long-term relationship that resembles a marriage [as this link says]. ok.. now. why me on for LIR.. well, it gives me that added freedom to be free and live my life with the person i like, till the time we both can co exist and get along.. and i feel so good, not to be bound my the so called marriage rules.. and now. well, you shall offend me saying,live-in relationship is an act of escapism from responsibility. The marriage calls for some responsibility from both the partners. phew.. i agree, that marriage calls for some responsibility from both the partners.. but escapism? i doubt.. i don't agree.. i have my point to say, LIR is giving me an added option to switch my partner, if and when we both find it difficult to co exist.
no no i don't mean that silly quarrels, the word fights, and all such minute things.. but u mean everything else, the intimacy, the closeness, both mentally and physically, the affection, the care, and most importantly understanding.. and at this point, let me tell, yet another opinion of mine, i am totally against the concept of arranged marriages.. so that offence adds another plus for my like towards LIR.. i just cant digest the fact, two individuals, who hardly know each other, getting married, living their lives, adjusting and changing and adapting.. phew.. i cant digest.. and well, do not raise your finger to offend me until i complete my say, i admit, i agree, that these three points, adjusting, changing and adapting are much important in any relationship, for its existence and survival. i agree. but still, two people of extreme ends, in a life, phew.. no no.. i wont digest..
with that having said, ask me what about love marriage? oh boy oh boy.. love is blind.. and in the initial stages, lovers also.. you cant jump into a marriage soon after you are in love.. :) my last relation lasted for 2 years, and it took that two years for us to make out that we are not the ideal matches.. call it teenage infatuation if you want, but still, there was everything in it ! and here comes my plus point for LIR again.. before i get really committed, i will know if there is compatibility.. not to discard the elements of sex and lust, but still, i will go with LIR.. children? think the partners can wait for some time, take some time for themselves to know them better before getting into the so called it.i am not supporting premarital sex, but who cares really? and now my final say, as i stop this good for nothing post, why get married when you see families breaking apart for the minutest reasons? why get married when you see the children grow up knowing no maternal or paternal care, for they are busy fighting their divorce clauses and for the "ownership" of the children?
with all these being said, i mean to say, that i would really really love to be in LIR before i select a partner, and all i desire for, in a relationship is some understand, some love, some togetherness, so closeness, some emotions and two lives shared.. and i wont risk mine!
PS : you felt like i talked nonsense? i am still young then. you felt like i got some point, i am getting matured then. you felt like saying "man u suck", i know this post is good for nothing and i told you earlier.
PPS : you feel like offending me, telling me some new ideas, agreeing to me? the comment box is very much open, but please do take care of your words.

I Proudly Say

I Have one BEST FRIEND, only one best friend.. who understands me amidst my silence, who understands my words, said and unsaid, who knows the way i would think, the way i would act and the way i would behave.. and today, i feel so so so happy to have you back in my life.. and i have no words to explain my happiness.. my joy and my pride.. you somehow happen to be the best person to have entered in my life, and i hope, i pray, i know, that you will stay for long..

OK now.. stop here if you want to.. personal notes to follow.. somehow.. some why.. i felt like posting this right now.
and i am thankful to you, for having taught me that wonderful lesson in life, for having made me this better person, for having taught me to deal with my emotions, for having taught me to be a stable individual, for having taught me to be no more emotionally depended.. and not everyone can teach these lessons.. but you made me learn, in your own ways.. and i am so happy to have you in my life, happy that i learned finally, though i took my time, though we had the clashes, issues, and arguments.. but now, i feel so good that, everything happened for a reason, and the reason, in the end, is to change me in a better way..

dear best friend,
on this friendship day, i give you no promises, no words, but i will remain as who i am, i will be here, for you when u need me and you will always be my best friend. love you always.. and you make one gem of a person..

PS : my best friend, still is the one who i had the worst fights in life.. the one, who i opened a new blog for(removed now), the one who understands me better than anyone else, but not better than my mom, except for some emotions :P
PPS : Todays friendship day post, is just below this post. hope you see it.
and finally let me seal and sign this post with one line,

"the closest and thickest relationships in the world have fought more battles than the enemies.."

Friendship Day Greetings To You All

i thought, i will not post a friendship day greeting post here till evening.. but every one is doing that and why not me? :)

better were those days of childhood
friends made every now and then
broken knees, shared candies and
hours spent together; in memory.

now, with all innocence gone,
desires and dreams born,
life turning around the U
yet, together we are,
friends forever, remain we.

amidst all arguments, all clashes
all healthy competitions,
all just to survive, we remain,
friends forever, always !

This Post has got very resemblance with Sneha's Post and hence i take no credit. i just modified what she wrote. Friendship Day Greetings to you all..
PS : this time a Personal Say : Read My Special Dedication to my greatest friend. its the previous post, and personally hope that you will like that :)

Her Life Once Again

today.. woooww.. a day with kids.. thats to sum up the day.. from the lil kid in the bus to that kid that i met in the evening.. oh boy oh boy.. they are so so so cutee... there is this much spread text message about kids and trust.. trust is that what a kid has on you when you throw him in mid air and he yet manages to smile.. he trusts you, and knows that you will not let him down.. and innocence.. yeah.. kids are innocence personified.. and she stated that today.. the lil girl in the bus.. she was so cute.. all she wanted to have was my spects and to bite me.. it did pain.. but she sealed it with a sweet kiss.. and i loved it.. oh i was talking about innocence wasnt i? look at her smile amidst the tears... the tears rolling down her cheeks yet, the smile on face.. the wink in her eyes.. what else can it be other than innocence? i loved watching them play in mud and water.. fun.. wish i could be a kid now.. :(
her life? well, yeah, this time i dont have any idea about what i am going to write.. its definitely not a story.. its one real life incident.. ok.. now.. let's begin with..
she knew him.. she understood him, she took care of him, she understood even his silence and she knew when his mood altered.. she joined with him to party all his success, she fulfilled all his needs and dreams.. as years passed, she knew when he liked that her.. she knew it when he called it off, she knew it, that it was just of the ages.. she knew it when he was awake late night over the fone.. she knew it when he skipped college and sat browsing all day long.. she knew it when he smoked and drank.. she understood its all of the ages.. she stood by him even then.. she pampered him when he was ill.. she slept with him, even after he is out of his teens when he was down with fever.. she neglected her illness to prepare him his loved food.. she knew all it. she consoled him when he lost, when i felt dejected, when he wanted no more to live..she knew him his heart out.. and he knew her too.. yet he never bothered.. all he has to give in return are those tears that wet he, all night, when he is off to bed.. yet, she has the love for him.. and she is his best friend.. and he loves his mom the best..
and now, thats shravan and his mother.. happy friendship day mom.. you understand me more than any one else.. you read me well than any one else, and i know it, that i hurt you more than else, with the life i live.. all i can tell you is, one day, i will live all your dreams.. let me be this careless soul for now.. but let me be your son for ever..
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