Each drop of a tear is costly than anything in the world, but, no one knows the value of it until they have it in their own eyes for someone-
I cired for you. when will you cry for me?

When there will be a day that i can no longer talk to you, that i can no longer miss you, that you can no longer be mine, My tears would flow a endless stream, and i know, When there will be a day that you are no longer mine, You will cry more than i do.

അറിയാമെനിക്കിന്ന്‌ വാക്കുകള്‍ക്കു വജ്രത്തേക്കാള്‍ കാഠിന്യവും പൂവിനെക്കാള്‍ മൃദുലതയും ഒരുപോലെ വഴങ്ങുമെന്ന്‌.

PS: Love reading the emotional outpourings of my heart? read the previous post and some how that post happens to be my most loved malayalam post.

"മാപ്പ്" || “Forgive me please”

അറിയുന്നു ഞാന് ഇനി നീ കൂടെയില്ലെന്നു്,ഇതുവരെ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നെന്നും.
ഇനി നടക്കണം ഞാന്, ഒറ്റയ്ക്കു, പെരുവഴികളും ഊടുവഴികളും,
താണ്ടണം കയറ്റങ്ങളും ഇറക്കങ്ങളും തനിയേ, ജീവിതത്തില്.

ഇല്ലെനിക്കുന്നു ഒരു കൈത്താങ്ങായി നീ,
ഇല്ലെന്റെ കണ്ണിരോപ്പാന് നിന്റെ കൈകള്,
അറിയാമെനിക്കു് ഇനി ഉണ്ടാവില്ലെന്നും.

എന്റെ കണ്ണുകളുടെ തെളിച്ചവും, കണ്ണുനീരിന്റെ നനവും
ഭാവങ്ങളുടെ അര്ത്ഥങ്ങളും, മൗനത്തിന്റെ വാചാലതയും
അറിയില്ല ഇനി ഒരാളും ഒരുനാളും.

അറിയാമെനിക്കെല്ലാം, ഒന്നും പഴയതുപോലെയല്ലെന്നു്.
ഇനിയൊന്നും പഴയതുപോലെ ആവില്ലെന്നും.
മാറിയതും,മാറ്റിയതും അറിയാതെ അല്ലല്ലോ?

എങ്കിലും ഒരുനാള് നീ വരും, അതു ഉറപ്പുണ്ടെനിക്കു,
വരാതിരിക്കാനാവില്ല നിനക്കു, നിനക്കെന്നല്ല,ആര്ക്കും.

വരും നീ എനിക്കു അന്ത്യോപചാരമര്പ്പിക്കാന്
ഒരുനോക്കു കാണുവാന്, അവസാനത്തേതായി.
എന്നോടൊരു വാക്കു സംസാരിക്കുവാന്

കേള്ക്കില്ല ഞാന് നിന്റെ വാക്കുകളും, ഒന്നും,ഏതും, ആരുടേതും.
എങ്കിലും എന്നാത്മാവു മന്ത്രിക്കും നിന് ചെവിയില്, ആ വാക്കുകള്,
നിന്നോടു പറയാനായി ഞാന് ജീവിതകാലം മുഴുവന് ഓര്ത്തു വെച്ചതു

You were here, together with me, but no more
Now, I am to transverse the ups and downs
The unknown paths of life, tough or not,alone.

I know now, I have lost everything,
The support, and the comfort, all rest
I know this too, that I can never have again.

None will know, the depth of my silence
The sounds and turbulence of my expressions
Nor the salts of my tears, nor its glares; now.

Know I very well, nothing will be undone
And nothing is the still the same, for
Change and changed are known well.

Yet, I know, one day you would come
to see me, to speak and to know, but
it will be the last time for us then.

Never will I hear your words then, nor else's’
But still my soul would chant in your ears
Those words, which I wanted to tell while alive

“Forgive me please”

PS: its all because of me, its all because of me, still confused? you might want to read the previous post as well then.
no apology would mend the broken
no cotton shall ever clean the wounds
no words of comfort shall ever erase the pain
yet i hope, that you be back; a chance,
is too much of asking from you,yet...

Shall Be Tombed..

You are the reason for every blood drop i spilled
everytime i cared for you,you bruised me.
plunged my strings of beat,yet i lived till now
burned my veins in every act,yet i trusted you

Knew i,i made it to you,clear, on my life..
you burned even the ashes,yet i cared,with hope..
now i know, all in vein, i cleared you things, hardly.
and this moment,broken are the strings binding.

You are the reason for every blood i spilled,
but i made the reason you,though never said you.
came you when i needed,left you when you needed,
yet, i wait for you, to learn from my life.

Your place shall ever be tombed, as now, as ever
tombed to death if you left with mean
tombed to remember if you left to return.
these, mark my final words to you dear..

and you are it,
the bloody otherside of I
the bloody other side of I

PS: I need this blog, whether it be exams, life, what ever, i need this blog, and i am back.. this is where i live as i, where my emotions and feelings are poured, and now i am badly in need of tissue papers. and i know this blog would just serve the purpose..
Peace! obnoxious mind's emotional outpourings !
PPS: if giving away my life is the only cure, i am ready to do it, but still, i just have a single soul, single body, one half want to die for the faults, and the other want to live for the rest.. just to correct the mistakes and get going, but the fight is on, whether or whether not, lets give it a try buddy. life or death, as it comes to you. live for the moment.
no relationship would go life long, everything has to end someday or the other day,


the obnoxious mind's emotional outpourings.

Teachers, remembering them

in memory of the little kid who lost her life at Delhi following the turture by her teacher, or devil, i remember my teachers, who guided me to be me..
from uma madam to fias sir, love them all.. i have always been the teachers kid ever since i entered the KG classes and i am proud that i still is. i ahve been disobidient, arrogant, lazy, but still never was i punished like hell, true, i was made to spell things, to write the spelling and was even beaten, but never in a harazzing way, and man, i am too too sad to see the present scenario.

the ethics of teaching are lost, teaching is no more a dedication, and is merely a profession. still do justice to it folks.

The MCB Award

As i said in the previous post, the Obnoxious Mind has introduced the My Choice Blogger Award, also called the MCB Award. Now its time to felicitate the bloggers of the OM's Choice.
and here it goes :
The First Three
Rahul Anand or Eternal Thinker, for his blogs design and support.
Rugma for the support
Sneha for her awesome and thoughtful blog.
The Second Three
Jinju for her poems.
Meera for the way she writes.
Ayesha, for her devotion in god and inspiring posts.

and finally if these people have a heart to accept the award from this novice blogger:
The Pink Orchid for spontaneity in blogging.
Mr. K P for his stories
Lakshmi akka for being the most supportive comment, and for her poems.

and now, its your turn..follow the rules :
1. You are awarded, it is to be on display, and you are to pass it on
2. You are to pass it on to 3 bloggers of your choice
3.You may back link the person who awarded you by providing a link to the award image, though its not compulsory.

and here is the award to copy and display..

Quick update : Feel like awarding more than three people? multiples of three can be done. Feel like keeping the award to youself since the poeple you want to award are already awarded? you are free to keep i for yourself. Cheers


This is shravan's 150th post in obnoxious mind.i did not celebrate my 10th post, not my 50th or not my 100th post. i did not celebrate my 100 days in blogsphere, but now, i am glad that i did 150 posts, and i hope that the count goes up.. and why this post. its time now, its time now to show and express my gratitude for all fellow bloggers, who helped me, who guided and and more over who supported me. Rugma, thanks for being there always, my first commenter, and a known friend.Geethu, thanks for being a silent reader and a follower, though you are not in the blogsphere..Three persons to show sincere gratitude, K P sir, Lakshmi akka and Ayesha.

K P sir, you are my inspiration and the biggest support, thank you soo much for the support, the mails, and for helping me grow.

Lakshmi akka, you have always made me smile with your comments, always supportive and never on odds with my posts.

Ayesha, I love reading your blog, though our views are different, and thanks for being there, for the support and for the inspiration..

not to forget, Mahesh, who is now taking his time to read all what i post, and for the comments.

and finally, my most admired blogger so far, Sneha, i love your blog, the way you write, and i am thankful for the blog roll.

and now, Chechi(the dispassionate lover), i hope that you will be there always, Amrita, thank you soo much for the words, that my writings are addictive, you made me blush. Rakesh vanamali,our interests are not the same, but still, thank you for being there.. zenana, i remember you, thanks for making me smile at times.

and in the end, as i complete my 150th post, i have a special special addition to the blog,

Introducing Obnoxious Mind's "My Choice Blogger Award". As the name shows, this will be awarded to those bloggers, who makes my day, who makes me think and who evokes my thoughts.. as all other awards, this one is to roll as well.

so the rules :

1. You are awarded, and you are to pass it on
2. You are to pass it on to 3 bloggers of your choice
3. You may back link the person who awarded you by providing a link to the award image, though its not compulsory.

and once again, thank you for the support and i hope to have them in future as well.. i hope to see you all here, and finally have a great day ahead and cheers :)
Today's Update : 16-Apr-2009
The Award is ready to roll.


Not just love but possess
Not just care but tame
Is that to do for you…
And not just the assets
The heart of hers,
Be mine, and be mine…
Not just the orgasm,
The entire soul be mine…

P S : there are two more posts for today beneath this. hope u see them.

Philosophically Me

Do not bother about the people in your past, there is a reason why they did not make it to the present. Do bother about the people in your present, there may be a reason, why you want them to make it to the future.

PS:1. nothing personal. my ashes of the past, my roots of the present and the dreams of future are in tact with me.
2. One more update on today : After-Before or Before-After beneath this post.

Vishu Greetings

Vishu Greetings for all Bloggers. May the forth coming days bring you all, all success and fame in life, may you remain human(e) at heart, my love and sympathy prevail in your hearts, May HE shower His Blessings on you, and may you be able to transform that blessing to everybody and everything that comes to you. May there be a Better tomorrow for all..

PS: Dear Sweet Heart(ex), now i know what you meant to me, and what your absence has done to me, i miss you, more thane ever, i miss talking to you, knowing you, hearing you talk, the fights, the pranks, the daily diary, the smiles, the virtual hugs, the hooked up calls, Miss You Dear.
: Being tagged by someone and writing that funny stuff is anyhow better than having no ideas to write and post.. Anyone hear(d) me?

A Prayer

I do not believe in stone idols and prayers, that does not mean that i am an atheist even. I believe that there is an eternal being above all of us, and we term him as a God.

I Seek Of, But Not Dream Of...

i dream of no corporate job
no multi millionaire nor any beaches
i dream of no luxuries in life
no travel to Paris nor of dream even.
i dream of no love shared,
no care given and taken,
i dream of no life lived,
i seek, i seek of living my life,
as it comes to me, and when.
i seek of peace, and i seek of me.
in the end, i dream of nothing,
i just seek of a way to exist,
to the next dawn and to its dusk,
and for, to exist, i seek, not dream,
to have a stomach half filled.

PS : there is one more post below this as today's update. hope you see it as well.

പ്രണയം മരിക്കുന്നു...

ഇന്നലെ വരെ എന്റെ ശരികള്‍ നിന്റേതുമായിരുന്നു. നിന്റെ ശരികള്‍ എന്റേതും. എന്നാല്‍ ഇന്നു, എന്റെ ശരികള്‍ നിന്റെ തെറ്റുകളും എന്റെ തെറ്റുകള്‍ നിന്റെ ശരികളും ആയി.. നമ്മള്‍, നീയും ഞാനും,, പിന്നീടു താനും താനുമായി.. അങ്ങനെ അങ്ങനെ അങ്ങനെ, ആ ബന്ധവും അവസാനിച്ചു.. ഒടുക്കം ആരോ പറഞ്ഞു, അതൊരു പ്രണയമായിരുന്നെന്നു.

അതു പറഞ്ഞതു ഒരു ഭ്രാന്തന് ആയിരുന്നില്ലേ?

പ്രണയിച്ചു പ്രണയിച്ചു ആത്മാവു നഷ്ടപെട്ട ഒരു ഭ്രാന്തന്?

Girl, I Still Love you...

when i think of you,comes to my mind,
the wonderful smile and the wink ,first..
the second, would be your adorable laugh
and i can go on and on,an endless list..

when i looked at you, i saw,the overflowing love,
the hope, care and joy, but now? i know not..
i found charm, strength, happiness and dignity,
and with these wonderful qualities, you changed my world..

but when i think of the short time,of,
the happy memories, it amazes me to no end..
we have been together,the happiness shared,
and i can go on and on, an endless streak..

its no wonder, that i am still loving you,
but now, i know, you cant be mine..
i thought, we were meant to be together,
but now, i realize, that was just a day dream..

PS: I hope that you see the previous post and advice me, thank you.

Something Personal

First of all, my mom hates my spending of time on the laptop and computer, neither she likes me hanging on the phone.nor does my neighbors like me hanging over the phone, guess what neighbors, i don't care, and mom, i know that you don't like it. Know, i do think of it.

Yesterday night was a hectic one, i had nothing to do, and i just thought of myself, yeah yeah, about myself. and seriously speaking i was / am worried about my future. school days, i was one of the so called "toppers", one among the good students, the noted one.. and i did pass out from class 10 with a 90 pc. and then life took its turn,everything upside down, joined Kendriya Vidyalaya, it was my decision against all odds, mom didn't want me to go there, but i believed that i was competent enough, and with a new pc for me at home, life turned all around, addicted to the web world i became, but still i managed to get passed to 12th and it marked the highest downfall of my life till now. i passed out form 12th with a 59.6 pc, making it sure that i wont be able to join any public sector company, and then came the entrance tests, and the results, awesome, i purchased a bike with my rank.

what a progress in my levels, from 90 pc to 60 pc, from the toppers list to the weak students list.. none to blame though. and amrutha, your name shall always be remembered when ever i say KV or Kendriya Vidyalaya. The only mistake i did(that i admit as a mistake) was misreading you, friend.There is no point in apologizing now, but still, girl, i was too immature.and then after a lot of requests, and requests, i got enrolled to TASC, as a student of B Sc Electronics, guess what, i couldn't get enrolled anywhere else for the grades i had, and well, this is for you mom, i wanted to get the hell out of Kerala(what a dream, 59 % and out of Kerala, man, dreams have no limits).. and i still pursue my graduation here. so future, that what kept me thinking yesterday..

future, future and future, next year, i will graduate as an electronics student, and i know its not my subject. i wanted to do JPEng at Christ University, just because its at my favourite place, Bangalore, and i like English literature( please don't ask me about the kingpins of it, am unaware, its just that i like the subject, and i do not go by the grammatical ways).and with my mom fearing that i will again ruin myself by going away from there, i became a day-scholar. no complaints..

what to choose next? B Sc Electronics, well, i am content, but i am no more into science. English or journalism is what i think of doing. but is there any scope of a job? a stable job? any one there to guide me? this is what kept me thinking, a job, salary, and a job.. i hope its high time that i think about it, turning 20 next month, and i guess, i got to think of it.. any one to guide me, which path to select and travel? certainly not science.

what? my interests? ah, here you go, English literature, journalism, politics, photography and travelling.what? define me? emotional, family bound( a lil though, love you mom), a lil obnoxious, friends matter, and i do not repent much on my past, dreamy, risk taking? not always, a blabber mouth, and i am good looking, at least when i see the mirror for myself.what? authoring? are you crazy? i have seen and known people who says, i want to be a published author one day, but man, i know what my limitations are. i make nothing, poems? well, i admire Jinju for that craft.. girl, i love your poems, Rugma as well, if she had produced some more of them.( of my age group i am talking about).

Any one to guide the right path? any suggestions? i can lend you my ears, not necessarily that i will go by them, basically, i obey my instincts. :P

In Solitude

Shot in 2005, at Bekal Fort, Kasargod during a trip from school. i love this picture, it was my first shot on nature. :)


Discovering the Self

ahh, something personal..

Recently, i got addicted to facebook, taking quizzes on it, playing be a tycoon n all, and this test, believe it or not, has an accurate result for me. I believe that this is 101 % true about me.

What Color do Your Eyes Reflect? Pink
Your eyes reflect the color Pink. You are a person who wears their heart on their sleeves. You are full of emotion and have a tendency to be very open with people. You adore the simple things in life and refer them as "gifts". You have an aura around you that radiats how loving and caring you are. You spend most of your time trying to make others happy. You also try to focus on yourself as well. You are also very supportive and sensitive. Because you are so emotional you have a tendency to also be very depressed and can be devastated by a loss. You can also be moody and angry at times when people diagree with you. In all you are Emotional.

Today's Update (03 Apr 09)
My Personality By Birthday:

You are very popular and you can get things done only by talking. Even to your enemies! You are business-minded and like to do things spontaneously.You will be famous if you get involved in any business. Your friends and families will always ask for your help, and you are the one actually with the money to help your friends.You will have more than one relationship,but when you settle down you tend to be selfish. You tend to go for other relationships - even if you are married at times because of your popularity. You tend to get along easily with anyone because the numbers is a middle number. You love freedom and changes. You learn your life through your personal experiences.
"What Month Were You Born?" May.
You are stubborn and hard-hearted, strong-willed and highly motivated. You have sharp thoughts but are easily angered. You seem to attract others and love attention. You have a tendency to have deep feelings. You're beautiful physically and mentally. You always have a firm Standpoint. You don't need motivation. You're often shy towards the opposite sex. You're easily consoled, systematic and you love to dream. You have a good imagination. You love literature and the arts. You also love traveling. You dislike being at home because you're restless. You're hardworking and high spirited.
Penned to Life by Shravan. Powered by Blogger.
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