The Third Type Of Love

Ref. and Quot: Ayesha Parveen
The third type of love is exclusive. It is meant for that one person who you love in a way you can love no one else. When this love happens, you understand that it is not mere infatuation or attraction. Deep in you soul, you recognize the person to be your one true love. Whether life gives you the chance to marry that person or not, does not affect your feelings. Just feeling that exclusive love for that special person makes life worth living. - Soul Talk

I do agree with this. But being in a relationship titled Love is not that much of a greater feeling. Even though one understands that its not mere infatuation or attraction, it’s not necessary that the relationship will go on. Seriously I do not think so. The essence of any relationship lies in understanding and adjusting.

To be in a relationship titled Love is every teenagers or youths' fancy, nor am I an exception and to be in such a relation for long term is never easy, believe me when I say, it’s not easy. The initial love, the feelings and everything are just temporary, seriously they are and those feelings can only be considered as infatuation and nothing else. To be in a relationship, understanding and adjusting is the key, it’s the base.

With the urge to be in a relationship and the hurried leap takes one to a fancy world where he thinks the other one is the best one, his ideal match, and Deep in the soul, he/she recognize the person to be his/her one true love. This infatuation may not occur for long and it’s the major reason for the flaw of any such relationships.

Now, if its not infatuation, if the first phase is lived and passed, then comes the second phase, where understanding is the key, its at this instance, after understanding that its not infatuation, and its true love, then comes the issue of understanding. For the success of any relationship, understanding is the key, one needs to know and make out what the other thinks, and with the teenage/youth fancies, people often fail to understand and they mistake listening for understanding. Being an active listener to the others words doesn’t mean that you are understanding them and understanding the others mood swing and getting to know them well is the key to the success of any relationship. You and I like the same song, the same food and we have the same choice, it’s not what is called as understanding. Understanding is when the other opposes or rejects some happenings, and then you accepting it, understanding is taking care of the others feelings, it is about reading even their silence. And most of the relationships that pass the first stage fail to cross this hurdle and there comes the third phase.

The third phase and the most important phase of any relationship is adjusting. For the success of any relationship, adjusting and making adjustments are the key notes. In any relationship, there are two people, as I speak about the so called Love, and these two persons differ in almost all aspects like, family and financial conditions, they have different choices of dressing, their behavior and likes and dislikes and it’s under these contexts that adjusting becomes the key.

Adjusting doesn’t mean suppressing your desire and passions for the other, but instead it’s taking care for the others feelings also, taking a note of how he/she feel about things. It’s not about yielding to his/her wills, but instead it’s about knowing why you are yielding and why you are not. Adjusting is not asking the other one to change his likes and dislikes at your will, and it’s not about complaining the other for not what he is, it’s instead about, accepting he/she as such, and knowing that they are brought up like that, and in a relationship, with out adjusting, there is no living. The key note for the success of any relationship is indeed adjusting.

Adjusting is all about sacrificing(its not the correct word,sorry) some things for your partner, not for his pleasure, but for the smooth running of the relationship, it’s about being yourself and accepting the other as they are with compromising on certain aspects. And it’s not even about saying, I am born like this, so far I have lived like this I can't change. Adjustment is a necessity in any relationships and from birth itself, every one is doing the same, it may be called as adapting even. In a relationship hence, adjustments and adaptations are important. we are not living as the way we lived when we were just 2 or 5, we learned to walk and run, we learned to write and read, we learned to live at our likes, or we adapted to the situations, and when it comes to indulging in relationships the same adjustment and adaptations are needed, the only difference, so far you adapted for you to sustain, but now "YOU" adapt for the sustaining of "YOU" and the difference is the first you is singular, where as YOU is plural. :)

Understanding, Adjusting, Adapting and Being Yourself are the base stones in building successful relationships, titled LOVE, and as for now, I keep my mouth shut for any other relationships, though I think the same points are applicable for all relationships.

3 Shared Thoughts:

rimna said...

hi u had commented tat adjusting is not suppressing the likes or dislikes of ur partner.i can't agree wit this
always in this society girl's wishes or likes are tuned according to man's desire.
you call it adjusting in wat sense do u ever noticed a man adjusted to woman's likings, if there is some by chance then this traditional society will mock at them &call them by the pet name"HENPECKED".lets hope your definition for adjusting will become true somedays!

Ayesha Parveen said...

Nice post Shravan. For the relationship to be healthy, the adjustments should be from both sides and sensible. Thanks for qouting from my post. Best wishes.

..Rugma.. said...

well written and i support the point....
any one in a relation has to adjust and sacrifice a bit.....
take care....

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