Lost Dreams

It was years before that he met her
Eyes in eyes, hands in hands
They walked through the alpine shades
His dreams filled with her thoughts
Letter exchanged, words unsaid
And dreams unshared
Yet they felt the love in their hearts.
A walk in the sizzling rain
Hours spent together with silence between them
Yet their eyes speaking for them
That was the love of older days.
Years went past everyone
Changes were seen all along
The “he” was no more, nor is the “she”
It’s I who exist now.

As usual did I woke up that day
As usual did I turn my computer on
I did find someone new
Appealing and looking good
I scrapped her a “hi” and
In reply cam e a “hello” to me
And indeed there started a relation
She was unknown, unseen and unheard
Still I was feeling the unfelt feelings
I knew I was falling in love

On a starry night, hugging my pillow and dreaming
Her beautiful face and lovely chin
Her swift long hair and twinkling eyes
All in my dreams..
I heard my phone rigning.
Yes, my dream was broken then
Losing my sleep, I sat reclined to my bed post.
Thinking about her
Her love and care had carried me
Through some hard times.
But she was unknown, unseen and unheard.

I took my quill and wrote
My words for her in a parch of paper.
I called it “my first poem”
I put it deep in my bookshelf
Years went past again and again.
On a morning, I lay awake in my bed
Feeling the warmth of the glazing sun
I heard my phone ringing again
Indeed I attended that call.
I felt my emotions rising.
My heart beating louder and louder.
I lay down in my bed, lost in thoughts
I now knew that “she” was a “he”
With a heavy heart, I opened my bookshelf
Searched for my first poem
I did find it deep inside the shelf.
I searched for my quill and
Found it with a broken tip
I searched for ink in vein
I cut my wrist and quilled in blood
“She” was a he and he was a cheat.
All my dreams ruined,
All my love wasted and
My heart broken
Disguised in a girls’ portrait
He was a cheat who broke my heart..

A change is always good to see
But not in the meaning of words.
The word lobe is pure and divine
And you know what it means.
Earlier love meant care and share
But now it meant just apass of time
The change you see is good for none
For it make feelings meaningless.

Best Friends

You entered my life with an uncertainty
Of whether to become my friend or not
Then u became my friend
Days passed months ended and years faded
Now you are my best friend
You are my sweet heart
You are the one that I am living for.
You walked beside me when I was alone
Your spread happiness in my mind when I was sad
You became my heart beat when I lost mine
Oh dear with out you life would have been different
But never this much good

You are special to me in your own way
And you are the one who loves me the most
Be yourself is what you told me
When I lost my heart in love
You never told that you love me
So did I never
But you were with me and
You said it with heart that you love me
I know, you love me more than I do love you.
you are my best friend in life
and you will be the only one in my life.

A Back Note to My School Life... Class 11......

Its one year since I have joined kendriya vidyalaya payyanur. So, I decided to share my experience with my friends right down here. It was on 26th of June 2005 that I entered a class room in kendriya vidaylaya for the first time. I had never been to such a school, where discipline is all about. I have studied in a rural school, which was under kerala state so I wrote the state board exams. It took about 3 months for me to adjust with the schooling conditions of K.V. I have never had a class work note till my 10th from 8th std. Nor I did a home work... The science exhibition held was a memorable one. I and my friends got selected, only because of the computer presentation we did, never on the theme.

It gave me an ample opportunity to visit kv drdo, Bangalore which in turn gave a no. of friends. So it ends there. Regarding my school life there after, I have never been a good student so far. I have scored very low marks in all exams I wrote, I could have done better, but past is dead and gone. I was always a good friend to those whom I know and for those who know me.My friends in the other class, who were with me in 10th, their class leader who was very sensitive and high pressured.

I always have great likikig for those people, because my character was similar It was in august that I talked to that girl fo the first time. Am not ashamed to say that , she in turn became the best of my few friends whom I care worth loads. I had a best friends ring of 3 people, whom I care worth loads and love worth tons. after august, my best friends list was raised to 4 including that hot tempered girl. why she came to my best friends list?? Its simple, her view point of life is so cool. I have a great desire for death and death thoughts. I would better say it was my passion and still is.

The school works were going side by side, and my friendship with her was growing to a good relation, a helpful friend I could find in her. Then it was exam time soon followed. I scored the least marks ever since my birth. It was my mistake that I never took studies serious.i repends for it now. But past is dead and gone. Soon after, it was the best part of my life that I have ever had so far, fruitful friends all around, think.com works and browsing, loads of friends all around India. Still no one was a true friend. It was in November that I met abhilash and hari, two students of kv pangode. I have never seen them so far, but we became so close friends, still not the best. We used to have loads of chatting sessions and phone calls.

By December, the hot tempered girl had become my best friend, my soul mate, whom I used to tell all my problems (I had many, which could be solved only with the help of friends). I have never had a fruitful child age. My companion was a set of books. And of course Vishnu, my friend for the last 13 years was with me as my shadow, helping me when ever I needed. But he had failed to give me the lost moments of a fruitful childhood. It was that girl who made me aware what’s child hood life, what’s the value of life. I never ever have taken my life so seriously. for me it’s just a break from birth to death. To meet many, and say bye.

By February, that friendship began to lose its foothold. I don’t know the reason still now. but I believe it was my arrogant nature which resulted in it. But still we managed to be friends. Before saying more about friendship, I was running a long lap of misfortune in my studies. I lagged behind due known reason, that I neglected my studies. still I didn’t correct it. I have always thought, let today be over, rest on tomorrow. still it’s like the same, but I have made some changes, and am still working on it to improve my studies, since I realize I got to study any how to be on earth though I never want to be.

By march, my friendship was all over and still I hoped for the best. Still there was an intimacy between us that we are friends. The period of session ending exams was a terrifying one. I worked a bit more that I worked so far to get passed. Mathematics, I was becoming poorer and poorer. Still I wrote the exams, being at the lowest of my ability, and managed to get passed.

Running geeks site was always a pleasure. The guys and gals that I met over think.com, similar of my choice were united under the group geeks, where we talk a lot about technological things. Now I stand in between life and death. I have missed the best of my friends for a reason which is unknown for me till now. Missing a friend for me is like missing half a piece of my heart. I have a small list of good friends, whom I share all my dreams and hopes, though I have lots of friends all around the world. Elizabeth, the U.K gal was one of the gifts given for me by think.com.Deepika was another, we met over think.com and now sent loads of sms and its a nice friendship.bhavya and aman are other two.

Am so happy now that I concentrate on my studies than I did last time , I have loads of friends around me and of course life is now thrilling me out to enjoy, my thoughts of death has gone to my unconscious mind, still one pain remaining in my heart. A pain which hurts as a bleeding heart, which is going to stop soon, the pain of missing a true friend, which can never be solved or cured by any medicines.

To dream is easy .to live is not. I have always dreamed a lot and I live in my dream world. My dreams so far have been true and happened to me. So I start dreaming form now. A bright future for me, in my favorite field, all pains of mine being solved and gaining back all the lost memories and getting my truest friend back, though it may remain as a dream only.may these all cracks and clashes be teh fun in her mind and may her be with me as my bets friend. still believe that i have not lost my best friends, but we are playihn hide 'n' seek.

May all my friends forgive me for being not the best of their list, may my teachers forgive me for not being a good student. May the god,(though I don’t believe) be angry with me ofr not believing in him( he have never helped me in any matters and I don’t believe in him now)may my life go away from me, due i dont deserve it.
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